Coffee Shop Journal

Mother’s Day was a through the roof success at our house: I cooked brunch for 11 and hosted a second party for 30 in the evening. I got up early (for me), went to bed late, and am walking on sticky floors yet again. I generated four bags of trash in three hours, washed loads of wet pool towels and had a dog throwing up from all the bits and pieces fed to him by well-meaning but misguided guests. And this madhouse was an amazing success. Here’s why.

Last night we welcomed a new staff member to our team at Christ Fellowship. His name is Dale Hudson, and he will be the new Children’s Director at CF. He and his wife Pamela and two sons, Joshua and Caleb, were in town for a house-hunting trip, so we through an impromptu party to introduce the Hudsons to some of the characters that wander through the Christ Fellowship world. We mixed staff couples with lay leaders, students and adults and children, broke out the Guitar Hero and generally had a good night. Several people asked me why we would throw this party on Mother’s Day, and why we do that over and over again. My reply is that using my home to intentionally create the kind of community God loves brings amazing benefits to me, my family and my church home.

1.  Ministry happens in the unplanned moments. I sat with our Student Ministries director and one of his staff members (who happens to live with us) while they were discussing new series, new service times, priorities. Because they had open, teachable spirits they were able to glean input from students who were present, other staffers in other areas of the church, parents, an elder, and the lead pastor. If you tried to “call a meeting” for that kind of input, you’d still be coordinating schedules.
2. Relationships develop over coffee. This is a sacred saying for me, though I’d like to find a snappier way to phrase it. True, nonetheless. I watch the gang clustered around our coffee machine compulsively pushing the espresso button and bonding in a different way than is possible in the halls of a church. When you know that rough and rugged guy uses Splenda in his coffee you somehow have a deeper insight into his character! In my home I have seen ministry relationships form and deepen. Unscheduled time in my house is a time when we can throw crazy, off-the-wall ideas out into the discussion forum and wait for them to germinate in a new, creative outpouring.
3. Mentoring is natural in a home. Last night’s mentoring opportunities ran the gamut: ministry mentoring from older staff members to younger, teenage girls helping young girls feel comfortable with who they are in a big group (including helping them with bathing suit choices…no small feat!), older moms to younger moms, even experienced drivers (of golf carts) to inexperienced drivers!
4. Pastors are people too. I love exposing new staff members to their pastors and watching them find out just how human they are. I also love having teenagers watch the leaders of their church interact with real life. I watched our Student Ministries guy singing High School Music karaoke with his daughter, while several of his high school students watched with rapt attention. They adored this moment of dad-daughter interaction, and they learned from it. My own children have learned — over years of this kind of exposure — that their pastors are genuine and real on and off the stage. They will never be fooled by hypocritical pastors into thinking that “all” pastors are like that. Priceless.

Can you think of a better Mother’s Day than to give those kinds of gifts to your family and friends? I can’t! I am so thankful that so many were willing to come share their night with us and invest in their relationships with each other.

Sorry guys…no posting today! We had other things going on at the Saunders Household today. Look at my first little baby girl. Wow.

I know that some of you all out there are real John Maxwell fans. Just thought I’d mention that he will be speaking live three times this weekend at our Church, Christ Fellowship. You can watch the live stream of the service. His topic is on “Three chairs: how to make sure people are in the right seat.”

Streaming live is at Saturday, 6 PM Eastern, Sunday 9 and 11 AM Eastern.

www.goChristFellowship.com 

I mentioned “The Bliss of Geography” yesterday. I’ve been humming along on this worldwide tour in search of happiness, and enjoying every minute of the ride. The author literally traveled around the world in search of the geographical place where people are the happiest. So far I have traveled to Rotterdam, Switzerland and Bhutan with him. Not surprisingly, in each of these places the happiest people were not the ones who were trying to be happy. Happiness came as a byproduct. The author, Eric Weiner, is not a Christ Follower, so it is interesting to see him reason through the role of faith, purpose and spirituality play in the search for happiness. He is also a gifted writer, and I’ve been struck on every page with a new thought or a unique way of phrasing a question.

While in Holland, Weiner visits the World Happiness Database, an ongoing research project into happiness. It is here that he determines his itinerary by finding out which countries rank high in the happiness factor. Holland is one of them, and the author concludes it is because of their tolerance. After a period of free-wheeling tolerance, however, the author realizes that for him tolerance would breed unhappiness and an undisciplined life. Next up? Switzerland, one of the happiest places on earth apparently. While rushing around precise Switzerland the author realizes that the Swiss are wealthy and patient, a rare combination.

Then it dawns on me. The Swiss are wealthy and patient, a rare combination. They know how to linger. Indeed, I’ve been in Switzerland for two weeks now and not a single person has looked at his or her watch — that perfectly synchronized, gold-plated Swiss watch — and said “I have to go” or “I really should be getting back to work.” In fact, it is always me, the loafing writer, who is stealing glances at my fifty-dollar Seiko.

With the help of a friend, I had set up a blog to solicit comments from the Swiss about happiness. One in particular caught my eye, and I’m reminded of it now.

“Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else. Maybe the current conditions in Switzerland make it simply easier to ‘be’ and therefore ‘be happy.’

Somehow I am oddly encouraged by Eric Weiner and his search for happiness. I am discovering that I am quite happy, myself, and that I am not alone in this. America, by the way, is well down the list of happiest countries. We have — according to the author — too many voices screaming at us day and night about the disasters around the block and around the country. We have too great an access to media, too great an addiction to activity even if it is meaningless, and too little time for compassion. Wow. He’s not far off. On the other hand, it is clear by chapter three that the author is searching in all the wrong places for his happiness. I will be intrigued to see where he finds his solution. I know where my rest, my happiness come from, and it isn’t a geographical location that resembles Paradise. He is on a quest, but he is settling for the echo, the whispers of Eden, rather than searching for the real deal.

The moment I walked through the door at Barnes and Noble today my senses went on full alert. I will admit it. My name is Marla, and I am a book-aholic. The smell of the books, the sounds of the store, the soft lighting: all of it is like a drug to me, and today I took a good hit of it. For the first time in a week I walked back into my local Barnes and Noble, my “office.” With an hour and some to spare, I found my favorite spot.

While Jillian has been in Costa Rica the house has been extraordinarily quiet, so I’ve been working at home. By this afternoon, however, I was ready for a change of scenery and so I found myself back in my preferred coffee shop. I was away not even a full week, but I felt like I’d returned back home. Christian, the 20-something barista who is trained to pull my doppio espresso as soon as he sees me, was sporting a new haircut. He was pretty happy when I noticed this. Christian was also in my 4-H group when I taught years and years ago. I love that we now have a relationship that exists out in the community on an adult-to-adult level. Noel, Christian’s much older co-worker, was missing today. This meant I had to actually place an order at the cash register. Honestly…such inconveniences!

I sat down and began reading a book that I’m sure you’ll be hearing about (”The Geography of Bliss, by Eric Weiner). The subtitle alone makes me smile: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World. I began to read that the Swiss are one of the happiest people on the earth, and part of the reason is that they are not afraid to just stop and…BE. Right then I decided to stop and BE. I put the book down and looked around me.

Next to me was a guy I’ve seen there before. A regular. I call him “Guy who is older than he looks” in my mind because, well, he is. One day when i was working on my computer there, “Guy” helped me force quit a program on my Mac, something I’d never ever had to do before. In an ironic twist, the program I was running was a Microsoft product, of course. Anyway, “Guy” (who is probably in his 30’s) was flanked today by two old golfing-type guys, definitely pushing 70, each of them. All three were looking at a website that was apparently showcasing some photography one of the old guys had a hand in producing. The three of them discussed lighting values, how to get green out of fluorescent pictures, and a few other things I didn’t understand. At the end of their conversation the two old guys said, “Hey, thanks for letting us look at that website. Times sure have changed…pretty amazing that you could show us that.” “Guy” accepted their thanks and made some comment about the quality of the work these two had done back in the day. This was just a chance meeting for these characters, but there was something of the last generation blessing the next generation in it. There was respectful interaction, caring, on both sides. In short, there was actually community.

On my other side there was an executive who was dutifully hunting and pecking his way through some document. He never looked up, never made eye contact. Across the room was a young college student highlighting and taking notes while plugged into her iPod. I found it interesting that both these people came somewhere to be around people, but needed to be alone. The communal space met some need in their lives, and they were happy there, because they were still in their spots when I left.
There were other people who wandered in and out today: kids after school, a gramma in a walker pushed by a very happy black woman who howled in dismay when the books she’d left on a table were moved, a man with lots of keys drinking only a free cup of water. I call these people, in my head, the “extras.” You need extras in a coffee shop to keep the energy level going. So you have “extras” and you have “personalities,” like the golfing geezers and executive man and “Guy” and, well, me. All of us together, all of us at different ages in life drawn to one spot to share an afternoon.

I love the Third Spaces of life.

I’ve been holding off on writing about this place because I want to get a picture, but after three visits to my new favorite lunch place I can’t hold off any more.

David and I found a cafe called MJ’s cafe, featuring fresh semi-organic wraps and sandwiches. We wandered in soon after it opened simply because it is in our neighborhood and we are trying very hard to support local, non-chain businesses. MJ’s, it was immediately apparent, is a family run restaurant. Our first impression was that their concept is good but slightly underdeveloped. You will see what I mean when I post pictures. The food was good. Ironically, the desserts (decidedly NOT healthy) were amazing - home made and delicious. And since they stay open until 9 PM the desserts are a prime candidate for an after dinner splurge: get them and bring it home quick.

Here’s what is interesting, though. We felt immediately as if these people are creating a community in their restaurant. Dad (Syed pronounced Sid) and his two daughters are friendly, warm, and have revealed a tremendous amount about themselves in a short time. Syed is a food chemist who decided to go out on his own. Now he is opening 5 restaurants in a year. Syed has a favorite saying. “See the world as it is.” As a result he and his family have traveled literally all over the world. Syed caught sight of us praying the other day and was encouraging us. “Gratitude is so necessary.” It is a little disconcerting, however, to realize that this sweet family keeps track of our dessert intake (”Try the toffee brownie this time…you’ve had the peanut butter three times now.”) as well as our other dietary preferences. “You really like the pomegranate soda? I’ll look for some other pomegranate things for you.” It takes fortitude to wade into what feels like a new extended family!

David and I were talking after lunch today –there’s no talking during lunch…the family comes to chat since we’ve proven talkative! By being open to a little conversation we’ve learned about a whole new world that we never knew existed. Syed and his family are (we think) Pakistani. They have a great feel for the world. We’ve learned about education, food chemistry (did you know you can get a PhD in chicken muscle?), family business and business in general. Shortly after opening the cafe Syed bought the gym three doors down; I think it was a good combination. Desserts to gym, gym to desserts.

Learning to appreciate the local third places like MJ’s cafe (named for Mom) is a worthwhile effort. In this little corner of South Florida there is very little community spirit. I can’t even find out where my town actually IS, if you know what I mean. So we’ve decided to create our own town, our own place, by stitching together all the odd corners and spots that we enjoy. MJ’s is now one of them.

By the way, did I mention they have free wi-fi?

Totally off-topic unless we’re talking about the technicalities of blogging, but go look at this. I think we ALL need this! That means you, Ragamuffin Soul, you, Big John Scott, Jenni Catron, Pete Wilson, Duncan (who rarely uses pictures!). Think how uncomplicated life could be! What do you think? Has anyone used this?

This week I have been reading “a matrix of meanings” by Craig Detweiler and Barry Taylor. The subtitle is “finding God in pop culture. This is one of the books in the resource list of “Pop Goes the Church” by Tim Stevens. I thought it would be a quick, kind of fun read. I was wrong. In fact, my brain is on overload. This is a scholarly, academic work with a lot of theology thrown in as a bonus. I’ve been digging deep into the author’s brains, and am sure a lot of it will be flowing out soon.

Today, I’ve been reading about the celebrity culture that we have created in America. We love our celebrities, both famous and infamous. Usually when a Christian begins to speak about celebrities it is with a negative tone, but “Matrix” builds a compelling case for looking closer at the role celebrity plays in our lives.

Celebrities perform a valuable social and theological function. Celebrities sharpen our ideals, bear our disappointments, and promote our hopes of immortality.

In other words, the celebrities are another “whisper of Eden” to remind us of all that we can be, all that we can achieve. They personify our hopes and dreams, reminding us that anything is possible. And, regrettably, they sometimes fall off their perches and remind us that to be human is to share in a brotherhood of failure. The best celebrities teach us how to get up again.

In Christianity’s past, the tendency toward celebrity was expressed through sainthood. We hold up models for ourselves, reminding ourselves to pour out our lives in trying to grow, become, make a difference. I liked this quote from the book, too.

Poet Phyllis McGinley calls sainthood “haloes for heroic virtue.” She points out that “in times of crisis we need saints. They appeared by the hundreds in the first centuries of Christianity when Europe was struggling out of nearly universal darkness into what then passed for the light of civilization. Whenever and wherever an evil has existed, from slave-trading to the miseries of famine and war, saints have sprung up to mitigate those evils.

Please don’t get hung up on that word “saints.” Substitute “leader” if you like, for that’s what Phyllis McGinley was describing. Wherever an evil has existed, God has raised up a leader to show the way to combat that evil. My mind turns to Corrie Ten Boom, William Wilberforce, Mother Teresa. Closer to home I think about Lamont Hiebert working with the International Justice Mission, the score of 3 minute presenters at Q detailing how they are working out their faith, my friend LT working in the second generation Chinese church in Pittsburgh, Bill Strickland working in Pittsburgh, my friend Garry Williams working with the homeless in his church here in South Florida. Wherever there is a need, God calls.

Doesn’t that energize you? It does me. For one thing, I’m not called to do all those things! Good thing, because this woman doesn’t have that kind of energy. I’m called to do my thing, where God has put me. I’m called to pray for all those people up above. I’m called to finance them. I’m called to love the people who wander across my path.

So here is my question of the day: who are the heroes God is raising up right now, and what do they say about the needs we are confronting?

I should have posted this yesterday, but I can’t resist writing up a little incident that happened yesterday. With one child in Costa Rica for a missions trip and another one flitting around from one friend’s house to another, David and I found ourselves with a free afternoon. We decided to head to the coffee shop in the picture for a time of reading and relaxing.

When we arrived at this Starbucks, which is one of my favorites, the first thing we noticed is that none of the regular baristas was there, and the two who were there had the music totally cranked. It was trance music, which is - in my opinion - hard to read to! Then we went to sit down and discovered a guy sitting in the middle of a triad of the soft chairs. This presents a problem: one side or the other and we’d have joined him. He was reading “How to Read the Bible,” so I kind of wanted to strike up a converation. But David and I didn’t feel like flanking him so we sat at a nearby table.

Before long two older women came in and sat on either side of our reading friend. Because the music was loud (or maybe because they were loud) they started talking at the top of their lungs.

“What stores do you want to see?”

“I thought we saw them.”

“No, there are more. What do you want to see?”

“How do I know unless I know what is here?”

Within 30 seconds (no exaggeration) our reading friend packed up, David and I packed up and even the guy across the room working on his computer packed up. It was mass exodus at the coffee shop. The two ladies, might I add, happily switched comfy chairs and settled in.

No redeeming value here…I just thought it was funny how quickly the room can clear out with the wrong environment!