One of the best parts of writing posts everyday, in my opinion, is to sometimes write in order to give yourself a pep talk! I’ve often heard preachers say, “I’m preaching to myself, here.” Well today, I’m preaching to myself. I need to constantly stop and evaluate where I am at in my thinking, since I can allow wrong attitudes to sneak in the back door. Or come grandly through the front door. Today I am working on knowing who I am in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life. John Maxwell, in his Leadership Gold book and seminar, offers a little bit of advice on holding up when the world seems to be criticizing.
Know yourself: this is a reality issue. I have to learn to separate criticism on something I do, say, or even wear from the core of who I am. My self-worth is in God, and my joy is in my family. Those things can’t be taken away, and when I remember them I am happier.
Change yourself: this is a responsibility issue. Yes, there are some issues I should deal with. I need to stop whining about them (”Why don’t these clothes fit?”) and get a plan together to accomplish them. If my book isn’t written, I am the on who needs to start outlining it. If my schedule is out of control, I am the one who needs to learn to say no. These are the things I can — and should — change.
Accept yourself: this is a maturity issue. As Maxwell points out, there comes a time when we all need to grow up and stop depending on affirmation from other people. Not only are most other people not thinking about you at all, but they are also waiting for affirmation from you! Realizing this helps me make my mission in life clearer. Affirm people and watch them grow.
Forget yourself: this is a security issue. Focus on others. Focus on others. Focus on others. Really, this is the only point I need to remember. It is the beginning and the end of security. Focus on others.
Sooner than I expected I found my nearly ideal coffee shop! Located in nearby Lake Oswego, Oregon, Blue Joe Coffee has only been open seven weeks. Here are a few of the many things I loved about this cozy spot.
The huge community table in the center of the room. This spot would be perfect for small meetings, small groups, a family having coffee together (radical!), or getting to know other computer-hounds.
The coffee itself is roasted by Blue Joe’s. The owner/president, John, told me they have been supplying roasted coffees for years, and recently decided to enter the coffee shop market. I am so glad they did. The flavor of my con panna was excellent. VERY strong, with a great finish at the end. Kind of a fruity finish. Jillian’s hot chocolate featured a surprise slab of chocolate at the bottom of her cup.
The room is divided into manageable nooks, perfect for either large groups or small groups. I would love to live in the main room of this coffee shop, and you can bet I would if I were a local.
The seating had a great mix of hard and soft chairs, light and no lights.
The key lime pie, made locally from a 50 year old recipe, was easily the best I have ever eaten. My apologies to my sister-in-law Debby, who also makes a great key lime pie, but I have to tell the truth!
John and his business partner AJ were outstanding hosts. They used our names, offered suggestions, rallied around the coffee experience that those of us who are fanatics understand so well. We’ve all talked about the importance of friendly baristas on this blog before. John and AJ could pose for our ideal baristas.
Blue Joe’s made me sad, because it is located in the Pacific Northwest and I am not. It is the kind of place I have been longing for, a coffee shop with heart and personality that also understands how to give its customers the kind of space they need. I didn’t have my computer with me, so I don’t know how the outlet situation was, and I could have used some more atmospheric lighting. But overall, there are very few negatives to this cool spot. I could picture musical events fitting in the large room with ease, or perhaps book clubs. Since Blue Joe’s closes early (they have plans to stay open later, soon), I could see special events being hosted in the space, too. Very hip vibe in the heart of a great downtown.
Do I hear a collective sigh around the blogosphere?
Here is the link if you are going to be in the Lake Oswego/Portland area anytime soon!
Regrettably, I’m at the end of Jim and Casper Go to Church. The journey, however, is just beginning. I am in that evangelist mode right now: “Every person who works in or near a church has GOT TO READ THIS BOOK!” So much of my life is invested in the church, a place I love, and which is apparently largely incomprehensible to most of those who don’t walk through its doors. I also love life “out there,” in the wide, wide world beyond the church parking lot. I love the goodness and diversity you can find there. I sense God smiling out there sometimes. My continual frustration is how to bring those worlds together! Jim Henderson and Matt Casper, in holding that mirror up to us, may have also given us an action plan to accomplish some of that goal. To continue my metaphor, a mirror can often inspire me to make different lifestyle choices: move more, eat less. It can tell me what makeup is not working, what clothes do me favors, what hairstyle I need to reconsider. This book can do that, too, if we have the courage to really listen. And make no mistake, it will take courage. But at the end of the road, we may be able to build a bridge to authentic, true “for real” friendships.
I guess I’d like some straight shooting: ‘Hi. Life is challenging But we’ve found that being followers of Jesus has helped us. Maybe it could help you, too.’ That’d be refreshing. And I’d be interested in hearing more and asking questions. In short, I’d be interested in having a conversation.
-Matt Casper
Some of the resources available for further exploration
Off the Map - Jim Henderson’s site for ideas on putting faith into practice in concrete ways, connecting with the community and links to everything related.
Conversations at the Edge - a site devoted to respectful conversations with people of all viewpoints. This is designed to bring you to the edge of your comfort zone.
Ebay Atheist - the original “atheist for hire” that started the conversation.
Doable Evangelism - putting the concepts into actual practice in the actual world. Shocking!
Just to warn you: no matter who you are, you will certainly not agree with everything you read on these sites and blogs. In fact, that’s the point! But to me, it was mind-boggling to peek into the conversations swirling around us. Go check them out, then come back and share what you have found!
On the trip out here today I was reading Jim and Casper go to Church, by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper. See my post here for a brief description of the book. I’m still processing everything I read, but I can tell you this…reading this book was a very familiar experience for me. It was like looking in the 360 degree mirror on the tv show What Not to Wear. Or maybe it was like trying on the first bathing suit of spring, and realizing that the winter was not as kind as you thought. Henderson and Casper have provided a very accurate mirror for us to gaze into. Somethings reflected back are pretty dog gone good. Other things feel more like ten pounds of excess baggage. In any case, there is a lot of food for thought here. So far I am prodded and poked in some uncomfortable places. For instance, how willing am I to be authentic with the people I meet who don’t agree with me? It’s one thing to be transparent with those who can quote my own theology (and even then it is difficult!). Could I do it with a Muslim? An atheist? Am I willing to let others see me as I truly am? More tomorrow…I’m adjusting to a new time zone!
Tonight I am preparing to fly across the country to attend a family wedding outside of Portland, Oregon. I have to admit that I am still geeky enough to enjoy a day of travel under the right circumstances. I’m looking forward to seeing new places and new people, something Craig Groeschel has been talking about over on Swerve, the Lifechurch.tv blog. Craig talks about intentional “disruptions” to your routine, a process that allows new thoughts and ideas to find fertile ground. It gives ideas room to breathe. So I am hoping to find some intentionally disruptive time in Oregon. Considering all the family that will be gathering, I’m pretty sure there will be a disruption of one type or another! Remember that prayer, asking God to help me come to the end of myself? Yeah…he’s getting ready to answer it.
As I go, I’m thinking still about the range of people Dan Merchant talked about in Lord, Save Us From Your Followers. I am praying for opportunities on this trip to open conversations that maybe I would never have started before reading this book.
There’s a lot about faith and God that I don’t quite understand. I’m okay with the fact that “full, complete, perfect love” is beyond my reach and beyond the reach of this world. I know I’m probably limited to grasping sand-sized bits of understanding, but I’m grateful for those little bits. Each and every one of the meetings, conversations, and interactions I had along this journey brought me so many grains of sand closer to understanding what real love is.
Hey everyone, I’ll be in the Portland, Oregon area for the next week for a family wedding. I think we are specifically in the Tigard, Durham area but are happy to wander a bit. I would love to find some cool, Third Place coffee shops or other sights! Yes…I can wander…but if any of you have a good suggestion, fire away!
It has been awhile since I’ve posted a Snowy Day post. Life has been busy! But tonight I was drawn back to Mark Batterson’s book, and we are now on chapter 8: the importance of looking foolish. Let’s start with a quote:
We try to look like everybody else. We try to talk like everybody else. We try to dress like everybody else. And the end result? We become like everybody else. We hide our idiosyncrasies and insecurities behind the mask of who we think we’re supposed to be. We stop being ourselves and start being who we think everyone wants us to be.
But something invaluable and irreplaceable is lost when we cave in to conformity. We lose our personality. We lose our originality. And at some point we lose our soul. Instead of becoming the one-of-a-kind original we were destined to be, we settle for a carbon copy of someone else.
Here’s the deal, as Mark Batterson says: if you aren’t willing to look foolish, you’re foolish. I’ve been praying lately for God to take me to the end of myself, to get me to the point where all I want is what He wants. A big prayer, but life is a journey. And then I pick up Snowy Day and realize the chapter is about looking foolish while we are dreaming the big, limitless dreams that God gives us.
I don’t know of anyone who more exemplifies this kind of holy foolishness than Carlos Whittaker, a man I’ve actually never met (yet!). Read his blog. Carlos is willing to be childlike, creative and unorthodox in his never-ending quest to be an authentic Christ Follower in this world. This week alone the Ragamuffin Soul was willing to show us his Ragamuffin Top as he begins a fitness quest. We’ve seen him dancing with his daughters, playing ping pong with his co-workers in a riveting live-stream. We’ve seen him interviewing leaders, riding the bus, fast-forwarding through his day, and leading us in worship. He opens his world and is willing to be transparent to show us the real world, a real dad, real ministry. Yeah, Ragamuffin Soul looks foolish. I wish I could, too.
Mark Batterson, who knows Carlos by the way, and would probably agree with my assessment, tells the story of riding in the van with his wife and kids, music blaring. Mark and his wife Lora get all jiggy to the music they have going. Their kids think they are crazy, but the people in the car behind them really think they are nuts. He writes:
But who is crazy? Is it us? Or is it the people who can’t hear the music? I’d like to think the crazy people are the ones who aren’t dancing because they can’t hear the music.
There is an old proverb: “Those who hear not the music think the dancer is mad.”
I’ve been praying for God to take me to the end of myself, and this chapter of In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day (please, Mark…can you think of a shorter title next time?) reminds me that perhaps the fears I am facing really result from my fear of appearing foolish. I’ve been praying this prayer, but I’m a little afraid God is going to take me up on it.
I resisted reading Dan Merchant’s book titled “Lord, Save Us From Your Followers” for a very long time. You see, I have a rather unfashionable attachment to the church. I love the church. I love seeing a good church find its unique voice in God’s plan for a community, and then work out that calling in practical, real life terms. I love to see hurting, broken people find health and healing in a body of people who love them. I love the church. So I feel sad when so many seem to spend their time criticizing, pointing fingers, or walking away from the church.
This book doesn’t do any of those things, and I am loving it. Dan Merchant manages to ask the hard questions in a way that leads to productive, life-changing thought. If his feature film of the same name comes close to the book, I’ll be the first one in line to buy a ticket.
Today I was reading while sitting at the FPEA Homeschool Convention. This gathering of 10,000 homeschoolers gave me a lot to think about while reading a book subtitled “Why is the Gospel of Love Dividing America?” if there was ever a typical, homogeneous crowd representing the church, this is it. Are we really dividing America?
Maybe. And here’s why. Somehow we’ve stopped talking to each other. As Dan Merchant pursued his interviews with widely diverse subjects for this book, he was amazed at how reasonable, intelligent and kind most of his subjects were. Some of us would be intimidated sitting down with Sister Mary Timothy, a man dressed as a nun briefly made famous for his protest of a Christian protest in San Francisco. Or we might uncomfortable sitting with Senator Rick Santorum, a conservative, right-leaning values candidate. But Dan discovered that these people all have more in common than even they might think. He discovered this by doing something radical:talking to them.
I sat in the coffee shop in the lobby today, watching this crowd of people who look so much like me, no matter how I’d like to deny it! We are a very similar lot. I thought about the Purpose Driven Network Summit this week, and how so many of the leaders gathered there made statements like, “The conference was good, but it was amazing to be able to sit and talk with these people.” On the other coast, the WhiteBoard conference just wrapped up, too. More leaders. More discussions about how life-changing the discussions they engaged in with each other were. I thought about some of the discussions I’ve had lately, online and in the real world. The common thread here is this: lets start talking with people more often. I want to not preach, not tell…just talk. When I shut up for awhile (easier to say, than do) I am often humbled by the wisdom I hear, even from Sister Mary Timothy. Dan Merchant perhaps stated it best.
[A man who I really respect, and don’t wish to name - ed.] said “You held a rally on the city hall steps and were confronted by the very face of evil.” [This man was referring to Sister Mary Timothy] I deeply resented that sweeping caricature — especially because in the middle of my interview with Sister Mary Timothy I was struck by a basic yet profound understanding: God loves Sister Mary Timothy as much as He loves me. Think about that a minute. This guy, in this crazy getup, is loved by the Creator as much as I am. We gotta get this one right people; we have to understand this context or we’re going to be running in circles forever.
This book is full of insightful questioning and discussions, most far less controversial than the nun who is a man. Michael Reagan reminded me that the church needs to heal the people who walk through its doors before sending them back out into the world. Rick Santorum focused on changing the discussions so that we can provide Americans with tools to live a healthy life together in one country. Even Al Franken had a few good points, as he wondered how the church should act out the commands of Jesus in the world we live in.
Just a quick update…we are snuggled into the Rosen Shingle Creek Resort in Orlando for the Florida Parent Educators Association Homeschool Convention. Go over to Dancing Thru Her Daddy’s World if you’d like to see updated pictures of us during the weekend and hear about the comings and goings.
More pertinent at the moment…it is SO FAR to the nearest Starbucks! Good thing we brought our Jurra Capressa with us…so spoiled. Nonetheless, I’m already going through withdrawal without access to that new energy powder, which is completely addicting.
