I’m at Barnes and Noble right now, thinking about what it means to be available in the community. Community is a warm and fuzzy word, but really it is downright messy sometimes. As I look around here, where I only know two people at the moment, I can think of big issues in each of their lives…issues that I could never hope to solve. My weekend, too, was spent living transparently with others in my community in order to model relationship building. Life is not simple, and in our quest for connection with the people around us, we can’t pretend that it is.
Our job in this kingdom is to live out the truth in such away that the people around us are attracted to the source of that truth. One of the concepts in The Tangible Kingdom (Hugh Halter and Matt Smay) is that we need to be as concerned about our posture - how we present ourselves and our message of kingdom hope in the world - as we are about the message itself. When life gets messy, people need to know that we are on their side. They need to know that we will stick up for them even if they are in a mess of their own creation. Halter points to the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery: a mess of her own making if there ever was one. Jesus won her heart by standing with her, not condemning her. He presented such a compelling portrait of God’s love for us that immediately all other loves seemed pale in comparison to this woman. His truth was so attractive, so present and available to her, that immediately she turned from her old life to take her first halting steps into the kingdom.
After finishing The Tangible Kingdom, I have written down in my journal five ways that I hope to be present in this world when others need me. They aren’t very profound, and I’ve written all of them before, but clarifying my mission has helped me realize what I can — and can’t — do.
I will redefine what it means to be in the world, but not of it. For most of my life I’ve focused on the second half of that statement. It was a good thing during my formative years to determine that I would not be “of” the world. But I’ve forgotten to be in the world. It’s time to “…find the courage to live bigger and be countercultural while remaining deeply embedded in the world.” I can’t tell you exactly what this will look like yet, but I do know that it’s going to change where I spend my time, how I prioritize.
I will grant others the grace to be sinners. Yes, that’s right…you have my permission to be a sinner. Because I am one. And once I realize that not only are Christians not perfect, but certainly people outside the faith are not perfect either, then I can truly meet people without judging them.
When I am with another member of my community — whether family member, friend, or new acquaintance in the coffee shops — I will make every effort just to BE there. For me, this is easier done with relative strangers than with my family. Just being there means that I will try to schedule my time more loosely, be flexible, and be intentional about creating opportunities.
I’m going to stop giving people advice. Does it ever work anyway? When someone need advice they will usually ask for it.
I’m going to try to create the feeling of “belonging” that we all long for wherever I am. Extending that depth of hospitality, the welcome that says “my doors are always open to you, because you fit here” is what transforms lives. How simple, and how terribly complicated.
I spent part of my morning hanging out in Starbucks with David today, reading The Tangible Kingdom by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay. I came to a section that really gets me excited about my life because it fits my giftings: building community. Now those of you who know me realize that I actually do not enjoy hosting large parties, even though I regularly do this for my church community. I enjoy the fact that I CAN host large parties, and that I have a hospitable space to offer, and that God has blessed me to make that kind of hosting possible. But large parties don’t set my creative juices on fire and give me a burst of adrenalin.
What really makes me happy is bringing together a small group of people, offering great food and sitting around my kitchen table watching the connections happen. It is around my table that lifetime bonds are made. Ministries are born - and some ministries fade away there, too, as time moves on. Trips are planned. Kids cry, eat, run off to play. Generations interact in ways I could not predict. When I had my mom over for dinner along with the youth staff, I’d never have predicted that she would bond with my young friend Chad, and think that he was the most delightful man she’d ever met. An improbable combination, grandparents and youth staff, but somehow it worked!
In other words, if you want to see community happen before your eyes, gather friends and acquaintances around the table, start serving food. Just add coffee to the mix, allow time and space, and be present in the moment.
A film critic I am not. If you can feed me popcorn and peanut M&M’s, I’ll buy into your movie hook line and sinker. I’m notorious for liking nearly everything…at least in the moment. Later, on DVD or Apple TV (love that!), I am more critical of movies. Maybe it’s the lack of chocolate. But in any case, I’m not great at writing about movies.
Having said that, I watched the film Bella tonight, and I loved it. Here are the things I loved:
I loved that the director had a story he HAD to tell, and that he refused to compromise on his principles to tell it.
I naturally loved the pro-life, pro-adoption message in the movie, considering that we adopted both our children and I myself am adopted.
I appreciated the conflict of interest the filmmakers portrayed. I know the characters and dialogue were a little formulaic (I know…good critiquing-type word), but I felt like they had to be formulaic in order to represent the deeper realities the filmmakers wanted to bring out.
Deeper realities. Jose, the main character, exuded a love and caring that was the essence of being present in the moment while working for the kingdom. If you want a characterization of what it means to be missional and present in people’s lives, look at Jose. Without condemning, without even speaking a word sometimes, he held Nina to a higher standard and supported her in her choices.
Let’s not forget Jose’s amazing family. I appreciated that the latin family was so amazingly portrayed. I wanted to sit at their table with them. That table, by the way, was a great symbol of hospitality and warmth and inclusion.
And to be fair and balanced, let me point out a few things I didn’t like.
The characters and plot were certainly quite predictable.
Some of the editing choices seemed odd to me. I needed a few more transitions, I guess.
The pace of the movie was a tad slow. Don’t choose this one late at night.
All told, Bella was a great way to spend an evening tonight with my 18 year old daughter. Jose and his family demonstrated true community, true love. Anytime you can portray that in the movies, I’m in.
If you hang around here very often you will certainly hear me mention Steven Furtick, the pastor of Elevation Church in North Carolina. I believe God’s hand is on this young pastor to impact the next generation in a mighty way. He’s also speaking at Catalyst ‘08, so I am excited to hear him in person!
Recently he took a vacation to the beach with his family, and told this story.
Elijah and I had a great time playing Wave Jumper at the beach last week.
Here’s a brief description of this sensational new game:
I stand behind Elijah, hold on to both of his wrists high above his head, and take him out to the place where the water hits his chest. When the wave comes, I jerk him up high enough that the water doesn’t cover his face or get in his ears. He then laughs uncontrollably, and proudly screams at the top of his lungs: “I’m the Wave Jumper! Let’s jump another wave Daddy!”
And we jump another one, and another one, and another one…
I didn’t have the heart or feel the need to explain to my almost 3 year old son that technically, he’s not the wave jumper. Daddy is the wave jumper. He should probably scream something more like: “I’m the Hand Holder”. I’m the one doing the heavy lifting here!
In actuality, here’s his only job in this partnership: to keep his hands in my hands, and trust that when the wave comes, I’ll lift him up high above it.
That’ll preach, won’t it?
Go to his blog and read the rest of the post. I know I’m going to be thinking about it for the rest of the day!
It’s the dishtowels that have pushed me over the edge.
You see, I just finished reading Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson. Reading is such a dangerous activity! This fiction book is an excellent companion to Lisa and Will Samson’s book “Justice in the ‘Burbs.” It is a fictional playing-out of the principles found in Justice. If I were to summarize the principles off the top of my head they would boil down to these:
As Christians we need to carefully evaluate our lifestyle. We need to do this frequently and repeatedly. The world is full of “big” things to do:should we let the “little”things sidetrack us? Look at your possessions, your activities, your living arrangements. Are they in line with what God has for you?
Monitor your activities through the lens of God’s kingdom. Activities that used to have a purpose may now be nothing more than busy work, keeping us from the kingdom work.
Look at where you are doing your work. Are you only interacting with other Christians? Do the issues of justice and social concerns ever hit your radar screen? If not, you may need to ask God where he is at work, and join him there.
Keep your worship fresh. Make sure you are connecting to God in a variety of ways, including taking time to hear his voice and respond. Perhaps you might want to worship in a different church every so often to obtain a fresh perspective (if only thankfulness for your own church!).
I am sure that others reading these two books would take away different points, but these were the ones God was pointing out to me. Now combine these thoughts with The Tangible Kingdom, which I am currently reading. The Tangible Kingdom is teaching me to let go of some of the belongings, activities and people of the past in order to effectively serve God in the present.
And so we come to the dishtowels.
I have so many!!! I have them in all colors, textures and sizes. Some are neatly stored in my drawer, some are constantly on the counter. Some are in the wash. All of them need to be maintained: wash, dry, fold, use, repeat. I could divest myself of half my dishtowels and still have too many.
I’m getting excited about going to Catalyst ‘o8 this year! The speaker line-up is incredible. I don’t want to miss the opportunity to hear Billy Graham speak! Yes - Billy Graham. The speakers really are too numerous, and too amazing, to list. But I am excited about Stephen Furtick being there. He is one of the best new preachers I have come across in many years. God’s hand and anointing are on him. I love to get to Atlanta any chance I can get…so many of my very best friends live there. And Atlanta food…oh yeah.
Anyone else out there headed to Catalyst with me? The early registration deadline is today, June 26. They put this Geico add spoof out to encourage us to register. Very funny. And yes…those are their real voices!
Not to overwork a subject, but I’ve been sitting here at home in South Florida thinking about Blue Joe Coffee in Lake Oswego, Oregon. And apparently I’m not the only one: the Blue Joe post on Coffee Shop Journal has been the most popular post I’ve written, by quite a bit. I find this intriguing, as I have written about a lot of different coffee houses. None of them come so high in the search engines. So what’s the deal? I have three theories.
Portland, Oregon is a city addicted to its high-quality coffee. They are just close enough to Seattle to have contributed to that alternative coffee-house vibe.
The weather in Oregon is often rainy (I know that’s an understatement!), and coffee houses seem cozy and warm. We noticed so many families and groups getting together in the Oregon Starbucks’ and at Blue Joe’s in particular. Blue Joe’s understood this trend and had lots of amazing seating available.
Blue Joe has roasted its coffees for several years, so they have a devoted following. In addition, they planned carefully for this retail location. It is located in a quaint part of town, but there is plenty of convenient parking. They have presented a viable concept that feels familiar and totally different at the same time.
In doing a little coffee-oriented research, I discovered that you can order Blue Joe’s estate coffees online. So for all of you who find this post and are frustrated that you can’t sit in the cozy shop that John and A.J. have built…click away and throw a tasting party at home!
“Oftentimes, if you decide to embrace the tension and move forward, this is your first battle. To move forward, we can’t keep everything we always had. We have to pick what to take, what is absolutely necessary, and leave behind some things that have been important to us. What used to provide comfort may now only take up space or be a hindrance to getting where we need to go.”
These words, from The Tangible Kingdom by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay have stayed with me during the days since I read them. One the literal level the author was discussing a recent move to Colorado from Oregon, in which he discovered there just wasn’t room enough in the moving truck for all his possessions. On that level alone this quote has convicted me. David and I have noticed that we are often happier in a hotel room or in our Lexington condo, which has just the few things we need to live comfortably in the space while we are up there. When we return home, our house feels weighed down with the baggage of the years. As we pass through the milestones of our lives, friends and family along the way give us things, things that they believe are important or apply so well to a particular phase of life. For instance, nearly all of us have wedding china but we rarely use it. I have tablecloths that fit my first dining room table, but not the larger one that I like to use now. And don’t get me started on the books that were significant to me, but which I no longer read. We accumulate these things because they were important - they truly were. But now I am faced with the tension of realizing that if I want to move forward in our life — if I want to feel at home in my own home — I need to let go of things that used to be important.
This also applies on a metaphorical level. In ministry — friendships and the intangible activities that make up our lives — we need to edit our choices as well. We need to be able to let go of things we have “always done” in order to make room for the things God is calling us to do right now. The life God is calling me to — in this time and place — takes time. I will not be able to spend that time if I don’t make different choices than I have in the past.
So I guess my question to us all is this: are the choices we are making day in and day out consistent with the calling God has placed on our lives at this season in our journey?
One final quote from The Tangible Kingdom (for today, anyway!) really reminded me of my priorities.
“When I walk into Starbucks, I don’t think about coffee. That’s predetermined . . . tall black Americano. I ponder the lives of everyone I see. I wonder about their spiritual journeys, their highs and lows . . . and where they look for direction in their search. My initial assumption is that in any room full of people, very few know Christ. I ask myself how I could get into their lives or how a conversation might begin. I don’t see them as projects — that wouldn’t go very far. I see them as sould the Lord loves who simply haven’t seen or heard an accurate message about the Kingdom. I always feel confident that I may one day be talking with them about life and God. Oddly enough, this seems to happen all the time.”
My daughter Kylie just returned from her trip to Jordan and Israel with Student Leadership University. She knows just how to please me…she and her friends stopped into a Jordanian Starbucks and snapped some pictures for Coffee Shop Journal! I am amazed at the depth of her experience, and I’m frankly quite a bit jealous! How fun! They met with the King of Jordan, they traveled to all the usual sites, were baptized in the Jordan River and had their lives impacted. She was also offered a marriage proposal including a $3000 necklace and 50 camels!
