My friend Duncan at What’s Your Point, Caller tagged me in a meme to write about an area where Christians have compromised in their calling to offer a living, biblical alternative. What does it mean to be an incarnational living hope in this world? Duncan wrote about the problems of drug abuse, a passion of his. I am going to write about the fracture of families through divorce and other issues.
God says that he sets the lonely in families, in Psalm 68:6. I firmly believe that the family unit is used by God to bring stability and hope into our world, but Christians have stopped defending the family. We have allowed divorce to tear families apart all over the world. We have allowed families to be uprooted from their extended families and church homes through job transfers and other external pressures. In some cases we have allowed arguments and miscommunications to separate us from our families.
Please don’t misunderstand me: I have had all these things happen in my own family. There are divorces, arguments, church splits and cross-country moves. I still love all these people, and have seen God work through their circumstances regardless. But this week I have been hanging out with a lot of my extended family, and I have seen the strength that can come from the absolute knowing of “I am a part of this. I belong here.”
So what would a creative, incarnational alternative of hope look like in this crazy world? I keep going back to Psalm 68:6. Let’s set the lonely in families. Where there are no blood families, lets create radical community families. When we begin to plan a holiday meal in our house, I try to look around to see who is missing a family and invite them. For some reason, I collect youth ministries staff from church. Lately I’m collecting all sorts of characters, some of whom are even related to me. All very well and good. But we need to go further and collect people who don’t even know they want a family. I need to reach out to the “outside community” and offer the feeling of belonging, even if I’m not sure they do belong. And I need to find ways to support families and networks. I know that our church’s children’s home specialized in keeping sibling groups together. Perhaps living out the support of families means supporting that home in concrete ways, realizing that they are living out Psalm 68:6. Maybe I need to support adoption causes. And most assuredly I need to be modeling the high priority I put on my “First Place”, my home.
Living incarnationally in this world is difficult. The moment you say that you are going to try, someone is sure to point out the many areas in which you are falling short. We are all imperfect pictures of the perfect Savior we follow. But the first step is realizing what he’s calling you to do. For me — thanks to Duncan — I’m going to be adding a few more family members.
What about you?
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Good post Marla. I’ve just had my parents visiting, but I also can look round church and see so many people who’ve been family to me. We have student lunch families in our church, with the same idea of finding “parents” for the students whilst they are at university who can care for them spiritually and otherwise. But to take it further needs us to open our doors, as you say, to the people less obvious, the marginalised and broken and hurting.
Thanks for participating. I loved the called to be embracing families to those without.
If you are interested/willing, I would love to do a link exchange on our respective blog sidebars. Let me know.
Peace,
Jamie
Beautiful post, Marla. It’s amazing to me to see how much of a dynamo a strong family unit can be. You can tell when you are around one because their energy pumps you up. When relationship issues arise, they suck up so much of your energy. Opening up the dinner table is something that my family needs to do a little more.