Life happens over Coffee

I’m at Barnes and Noble right now, thinking about what it means to be available in the community. Community is a warm and fuzzy word, but really it is downright messy sometimes. As I look around here, where I only know two people at the moment, I can think of big issues in each of their lives…issues that I could never hope to solve. My weekend, too, was spent living transparently with others in my community in order to model relationship building. Life is not simple, and in our quest for connection with the people around us, we can’t pretend that it is.

Our job in this kingdom is to live out the truth in such away that the people around us are attracted to the source of that truth. One of the concepts in The Tangible Kingdom (Hugh Halter and Matt Smay) is that we need to be as concerned about our posture - how we present ourselves and our message of kingdom hope in the world - as we are about the message itself. When life gets messy, people need to know that we are on their side. They need to know that we will stick up for them even if they are in a mess of their own creation. Halter points to the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery: a mess of her own making if there ever was one. Jesus won her heart by standing with her, not condemning her. He presented such a compelling portrait of God’s love for us that immediately all other loves seemed pale in comparison to this woman. His truth was so attractive, so present and available to her, that immediately she turned from her old life to take her first halting steps into the kingdom.

After finishing The Tangible Kingdom, I have written down in my journal five ways that I hope to be present in this world when others need me. They aren’t very profound, and I’ve written all of them before, but clarifying my mission has helped me realize what I can — and can’t — do.

  1. I will redefine what it means to be in the world, but not of it. For most of my life I’ve focused on the second half of that statement. It was a good thing during my formative years to determine that I would not be “of” the world. But I’ve forgotten to be in the world. It’s time to “…find the courage to live bigger and be countercultural while remaining deeply embedded in the world.” I can’t tell you exactly what this will look like yet, but I do know that it’s going to change where I spend my time, how I prioritize.
  2. I will grant others the grace to be sinners. Yes, that’s right…you have my permission to be a sinner. Because I am one. And once I realize that not only are Christians not perfect, but certainly people outside the faith are not perfect either, then I can truly meet people without judging them.
  3. When I am with another member of my community — whether family member, friend, or new acquaintance in the coffee shops — I will make every effort just to BE there. For me, this is easier done with relative strangers than with my family. Just being there means that I will try to schedule my time more loosely, be flexible, and be intentional about creating opportunities.
  4. I’m going to stop giving people advice. Does it ever work anyway? When someone need advice they will usually ask for it.
  5. I’m going to try to create the feeling of “belonging” that we all long for wherever I am. Extending that depth of hospitality, the welcome that says “my doors are always open to you, because you fit here” is what transforms lives. How simple, and how terribly complicated.