Yesterday I was struck by Ed Bahler’s post on the importance of understanding the people who come to your Third Place, whether it be inside the church or a stand-alone coffee shop. And I have to agree with one of Ed’s statements: if it was up to the church, we’d probably have still been doing a feasibility study on how to feed the 5000 while the crowd wandered off to the nearest pub. Can’t you just see the chagrined disciples slinking into the pub long after all the tables were taken with laughing, happy, full seekers? They squeeze in, here and there, and join the conversations that are almost over about the miraculous things the teacher was saying today. Now before someone writes me to tell me that there were no pubs in Jesus’ time, please give me grace. I know that. But I like pubs, and I want to think about some Monty Python-style disciples squeezing through the door. Substitute fire pits with goats roasting and the point is still the same: Christians are often late to the party.
Why? We have all the tools we need to understand people’s hearts better than anyone else on earth. We have the intrinsic motivation to care about the people “out there.” And yet, sometimes from the perspective of those “out there,” we couldn’t care less. It’s not true, of course. We care. We want to do what Jesus did. We want to feed the crowd, turn them into a party, and embrace the goodness of life with them. We want to do what the Master did. We just don’t always know how. How do we dip our bread into the oil and tell stories through the night with the crowd?
When it comes to creating intentional Third Spaces, we need to develop a theology of hospitality, a theology that embraces the recipient of our hospitality with more than respect, with something closer to welcome. If we want to have an atmosphere where seekers can feel comfortable seeking, we have to be careful not to give them our own answers too soon, and we have to be willing to listen to their first attempts at walking through a spiritual journey. Hospitality has long been relegated to domestic divas (yeah…sometimes I am one), but in truth it is a dangerous gifting, leading into deep waters of heartache, care and uncertainty. You see, the people “out there” don’t always follow our plans for them, oddly enough. And sometimes — really — their plan is even better. We have to be strong enough to create a space for the seekers, a space for laughter and comfort and sharing that may seem to have nothing at all to do with the gospel. That is the work of being an incarnational representative of Christ. When the recipient of our hospitality reclines in friendship to start yet another story and perhaps decide to indulge in dessert after all, he is feeling comfortable and safe. We have succeeded.
Creating that haven of “belonging” is what the world excels at. Buy this TV and you are “in” and your sports-viewing life will be better than ever. Come to this restaurant and you will find friends and food to tickle your senses. Wear these clothes and you won’t go home alone. We need to hear these messages, and realize that the world is out there waiting to belong. Now it’s time to welcome them home.
Hanging out at Randy Elrod’s place for Watercooler Wednesday, I decided to write a quick note about something which I actually feel very deeply. Garbage men rock my world. Before you think I’ve gone off my rocker from too much Iced Doubleshots with Espresso (which I have, by the way), let me explain. Twice a week I wheel the grossest stuff in my life down to the end of my driveway. I have great wheeled trash cans, easy-tie Glad kitchen trash bags…all the necessities. I never have to think about garbage, I just heave it into my trash can under the counter. I collect the smelliest, the broken, the way-past-expiration date. I collect the things my kids have lost track of. I collect the junk mail from everywhere. All these things get thrown into those sweet white bags and wheeled to the end of the street. Along come these men from who-knows-where. I don’t know them, and they really don’t expect a relationship with me of any sort. They don’t whine or complain. They just gracefully do their job of emptying the trash and restoring free space back to my life. They rock my world.
I have a feeling that our calling as Christians is supposed to be somewhat like a garbage man’s. Aren’t we supposed to be working a restoration ministry? If we stopped whining about people’s trash in their lives and just gracefully helped them bag their trash and throw it away, wouldn’t we be more like Christ’s hands and feet? Just pondering.
I started a new book today: Do Hard Things by Alex & Brett Harris. This book is making the graduation gift rounds, for good reason. It is written by a pair of 19 year old twins who are fed up with the cultural expectations (or lack thereof) placed on teens. It is an incredible challenge to do hard things, to stretch. I know you’ll be hearing more about it from me by the end of the day. For a little sneak peek, these are 5 hard things.
Things that are outside your comfort zone.
Things that go beyond what is expected or required.
Things that are too big to accomplish alone.
Things that don’t earn an immediate payoff.
Things that challenge the cultural norm.
Five good blog posts, right there. I’m only a few chapters into this book, which is quick and easy reading on one level, but already these 19 year olds are kicking my 44 year old backside. Ouch. Parents, click over to Amazon and make sure you and your kids read this. But first, go read this blog post, where the authors help you as parents approach the concept.
David and I have become close friends with Buddy Hoffman, the pastor of Grace Fellowship Church in Snellville, Georgia. Over the years Buddy has taught us many amazing lessons. His sermon from Sunday, June 1 on the spiritual disciplines of being a Christ Follower was amazing. Here are a few points that stuck out for me.
We think of the spiritual disciplines as fasting, praying, reading the scripture. And they are. But Christ also demonstrated other disciplines for us.
Christ was known for “associating with sinners.” That old phrase from our youth usually implied something bad about the person doing the associating, but Buddy reminded us that hanging out with the sinners is what Christ DID. Hanging out is a spiritual discipline.
If we don’t hang out with people whose lifestyle we don’t necessarily agree with, we aren’t following the disciplines of Christ.
The words used to describe the time Jesus spent with the “sinners” were the words we would associate with hanging out, relaxing, doing life. These weren’t formal dinners.
Who are the people we need to be doing life with? Your neighbor Ed may have vowed to never step foot in a church again, but he probably hasn’t vowed never to eat a hamburger again. Do life with Ed.
Another spiritual discipline is embracing life. Like a platter of ripe, perfect fruit or the finest chocolate, Jesus has spread life out in front of his children for us to enjoy. Christians need to dive in head-first into life, and model enjoying the gifts lavished on us.
Buddy’s Kingdom Series, which he has been preaching for most of the year, is worth listening to. You can find the link to the podcasts here if you are interested.
I came across this article today in Need Magazine, a great blog (and magazine) devoted to profiling stories of need and responses to need around the world. This article discusses a Guatemalan coffee cooperative that provides stable prices and dignity to the local coffee farmers. Take a minute to read the article and mouse-over the pictures. They are really evocative pictures. Sometimes it is easy to forget where my coffee originated, and the people whose lives have been devoted to the simple coffee bean for generations.
This morning I was watching the BBC show “How Clean is Your House?” I love watching shows like that on Saturday mornings: inspiration to get my rear in gear. On this particular episode the two ladies were helping a single woman with over 3,000 paperback books sitting on shelves. Her home was a wreck because she’d rather do a crossword every time than clean. (No…do NOT substitute the words “write a blog post” there…please!) After some rather harsh but genteel-sounding English accented words, the ladies cleaned up the poor homeowner’s “flat”, which she admitted had not been cleaned in TWENTY FOUR YEARS! Can you imagine? When the homeowner saw her cleaned up bedroom she cried, and said, “I’ve never in all my life had such a bedroom as this.”
But she’d been living in that same room for 27 years.
My question is this: what treasures are right around us covered in grime until they look like refuse? It could be a forgotten corner of your home, like this poor lady’s home. Or a relationship that seemed insignificant until it received a little polish. Or it could be your ministry, coasting on empty. Or it could be a talent that is hiding inside you, unused. What treasures have we been living in for 27 years, all the while saying “I never had such a thing in all my life!”?
This is a clip from another episode of How Clean Is Your House in case you have never seen it before! This is only part 1, so you need to search on YouTube for the other parts if you want to see it all. It’s kind of long (7 minutes) but it will give you a taste of the horrible circumstances these people live in!
Pete Wilson, lead pastor at Cross Point where my friend Jenni is the executive pastor, wrote an amazing blog recently about why he bothers to blog. Now, I don’t have nearly the readership that Pete does, and I’m not a pastor by any means. But he captures some of the spirit of why I keep writing Coffee Shop Journal. (Besides the fact that I’m addicted and somehow I have to!) Go read Pete’s blog. It inspires me.
1. My church. Sometimes I overlook the obvious, but the church is the top spot where I run into the people I live and work around all day long. If you want to connect with someone new, by the way, you could try two simple things. Sit somewhere else (you know you have a favorite seat!). And secondly, say Hi. This was, by the way, the most impressive thing that Matt Casper (Jim and Casper Go to Church) noticed in his church tour: several people genuinely stopped to say hello and share a bit of conversation.
2. The people I use for services. The last time I had my eyebrows waxed I ended up encouraging an adoptive mom and giving her some counseling on how to discuss the issue with her adopted son. Since I am adopted, and I have also adopted both my daughters, this is a subject that I care deeply about. Taking a moment to connect with the “eyebrow lady” on a personal level opened a door for real interaction to take place. It is easy to rush through our transactions without stopping to ask a person’s name, or wonder how they are really doing, or what makes them tick. Teaching myself to slow down is one of my new goals.
3. My house. Oddly enough, a lot of people wander through my house in any given week. Instead of looking at them as nuisances, I’m learning to slow down (again!) and connect with them.
4. The mall. Yes, I have to admit it. The mall is my stomping ground. I know managers and sales clerks. I have a long term relationship with security guards. AND, one of our best Starbucks around is located inside the mall. It is actually developing its own sense of community inside the mall. If I look at the mall as one walkable, human-sized city I suddenly see a microcosm of life. Last Christmas I spent one morning reading at a food court table and watching the various workers whose job it was to clean up the messes left behind. I spotted several who really seemed to care about their jobs, and I thanked them. The last lady I thanked also received a $10 bill for me with a Merry Christmas. She nearly cried. Then she kissed me on both cheeks. Not so crazy about the kissing, but it was one the best $10 experiences I can think of.
5. You knew it was coming…all my coffee shops. I would also include here all the various restaurants that David and I have frequented over the years. We have made great friendships with some of the managers and waiters who have served us. Which reminds me: one of my favorite managers just had a baby. I need to check on that!
Pretty much that’s how I move through our community. Now that I have identified those top five places, I can be more intentional about each one. It helps me to have some kind of direction. I’m actively searching for new connection points. Tonight I began thinking about volunteering for a community-based outreach, but my travel schedule is so goofy. One thing I know: God doesn’t waste desires. He’ll show me!
Finally, I’m including this little clip from YouTube today, because it captures so perfectly how I feel about that new Starbucks Doubleshot Iced Espresso’s with energy powder! Enjoy!
