This week I’ve been reading Death by Suburb by David L. Goetz. It’s an interesting book about using spiritual disciplines to enrich a life challenged by a suburban environment. I found an interesting intersection of thoughts with Death by Suburb and my Starbucks coffee cup today. It isn’t often that I find wisdom on my cup, but today I did! It reads:
The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating — in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.
– Anne Morriss
This was startlingly similar to a thought expressed by David Goetz in his book. He was discussing the tendency to “church hop” in the suburbs, finding a new church for each phase of your life and needs. A spiritual discipline, he says, is to stay and work through the relationships that exist in your church family. Be committed to your community.
Freedom does not always mean going. In the thicker life [ed. note: a deeper spiritual life], in fact, freedom often means staying. That’s certainly true of the Christian understanding of marriage. Staying with one partner over a lifetime opens me up to the goodness of God in a way that serial monogamy doesn’t. Church is another place where freedom means staying. That seems counterintuitive, given scripture’s emphasis on the kingdom of God and its global enterprise. With both church and marriage, in a culture of options, I choose not to move. I stay rooted in community, because only in a place where I’m free not to leave can I find the “personal” in so-called personal relationship with God. This practice is all about staying in relationships when everything inside me screams to pack up my hurt feelings and find a more ideal community.
The relationships we form within our church communities are part of the plans God has for us. He intends for us to grow and prosper through them. When we know that we are committed to each other, there is freedom in not having to evaluate our decision to stay in that church over and over. We are here for each other; we will be here for you no matter what may come. We are not alone, and that is good.
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Ok, I was just about to send you a quick email about the girls and then read your response to your Starbucks quote……a tear is rolling down my cheek…..if you only knew how timely that was!
Hii Marla,
This I totally agree with! Since Randy and I moved here it has been very hard to be so far away from my family. At times, I know I dissappointed God by having the wrong attitude. I could think of a million excuses why I thought we should go back home or at least get closer so I could drive there by myself. My husband
knew in his heart that we should be hear. So, I just tried to accept it. We’ve been here 11 yrs. now. My heart has been healed in so many ways because of our church. I know it is so hard to go by faith, when everything inside you cries out to do the opposite. You know, I even tried to get involved in different groups but,it does no good if you don’t let go and really allow God to do the work He sent you here for in the first place! Even though it has taken a long time for me, to finally feel okay and just rest and trust God, I know everything
has been just right all the time. My husband’s philosphy is we need to be where GOD IS! I am now trying to enter into real
community and relationships with my church family. Isolation is awful!! I’m thankful that God has been so patient with me. I signed up last night for 3 different groups, hoping to be able to be in 2 of the 3 when I find out more info. I hope I’ve learned a lot and I trust I can be a friend to everyone God brings across my path! Community, relationships, IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT! Jesus taught us that. I’m thankful to be in a church
that reaches out in so many ways. I’m also thankful that I have the desire to get totally involved in Community and relatioships.
IT’S WAY PAST TIME. Thank you God for getting the “go” out of my heart. STAYING,RESTING,TRUSTING is so much better.
groups
Connie, thank you so much for sharing that. You know, so often when we let go and stop striving, God brings across our paths the very things we need most. You are right…when you rest and trust you are free to just enjoy the ride.
You are so right…it is all about the relationships.
Bethany…I’m glad to be on time! Love you!!
I have to leave a comment. I’d been pondering going through our church’s “covenant partnership” process when I came across this post. And then I got the same Starbucks cup the next day! Anyways, I did find your post compelling, especially when I realized this commitment is more for me than for them, just something I need to do. So thanks for sharing!!
thanks for that marla… very timely as i’ve been wrestling once again with whether to stay and keep going as i’m exhausted and so fed up with fighting back tears in my car every sunday! its always eassier to think the grass is going to be greener in another place.
Some days I wish I hadn’t written those words about staying put. I resonate with the post about the greener grass.
Dave Goetz
Death by Suburb
Thanks for leaving a comment, Dave!
You know, just because words are true in most cases, doesn’t mean they are always and forever true.
Someone once told me that if you are sitting on a block of ice and are getting frozen, it’s time to move. If you’re sitting on a block of ice and you’re melting the block bit by bit, you need to stay.
It took a church split and nearly a lightening bolt before we did what we were supposed to do: move.
That was 15 years ago.
In reply to Dave Goetz…thank you for that. I have never read or heard of your book but so often enjoyed that quote from the starbucks cup. I just stumbled on this website looking for the quote. I’m looking forward to reading your book. Thanks.
How does one discover if their “Coffee Cup Quote” submission was actually selected?