I couldn’t sleep last night, and this is what I was pondering! Which is an odd glimpse into my strange mind, but never mind that right now.
As regular readers of Coffee Shop Journal know, I am in a constant battle with my sense of “place.” South Florida is a hard spot to be. Now before you rain-soaked, snow-weary northerners jump all over me, this is what I mean: South Florida residents are usually bent on pleasure. They’ve retired, they want to play, they have all the relationships they want. Or they were raised there, in the midst of sunny suburban sprawl with no sense of permanence or home town. Obviously you can make a home there, work for the kingdom there. I have and will. But it isn’t the easiest place to establish community and community relationships. On the flip side, I love the little community in the Boston area where we hang out, and I love the lake community up here in New Hampshire. So when I come up here I always ponder what it is that I’d love to have in an ideal situation.
Here is the list — in no particular order — of the characteristics of a “place” that I would pick if I were just starting out in my life. If my roots were shallow and I was wondering where to go in the kingdom, these are the traits I would look for in picking a community.
- Walkable! Yes, I said no particular order to this list, but even so having a walkable place tops my list. I would like to live in a neighborhood — whether urban or suburban — where at least some of my day could be spent walking on my way to errands. So many serendipitous relationships are formed when you bump into your neighbors. In Lexington, where our condo is located, we add 10 minutes onto our time frame every time we step out of our doorway, because we bump into our neighbors and chat. And these are neighbors I hardly know!
- Demographics. It doesn’t matter what your demographics are, as long as you are aware of them and choose them. If you prefer a more diverse population, don’t live outside a suburban town. On the other hand, if you seem to resonate with a particular group of people, find where they cluster.
- Services. Sort of related to the walkable issue, find a spot where services can be obtained locally, preferably within walking distance. Those service relationships are often the start of meaningful friendships.
- Culture. Choose your culture wisely. If you are an intellectual, find a place near a college town or an urban center where you can engage in meaningful discussions with others who are also interested in the same topics. A farming community is probably not for you! If you are eco-minded, find a green city so that you have a common bond with your neighbors. We underestimate the value of common interests with the people we live near.
- Faith communities. How and where we worship impacts everything. David and I have always attempted to live near our churches because we want to be part of a community, and we want our faith integrated with that. Take some time to find the place you belong, before buying your spot in the community.
- Pace of life. Finally, be realistic about your own pace and energy levels. If you are an early to bed, early to rise person, you may not want to live smack in the middle of an urban center. Paces of life vary from region to region, town to town. And I firmly believe that there is no one better way to live: you just need to know yourself.
So just for fun, if I were evaluating these qualities, I’d probably live in a mid-sized city environment at this phase of my life. My children are grown, so we’ve outgrown the yard and pool stage of life. I love to interact with people, sit in coffee shops, walk to entertainment and engage in people watching. I enjoy “culture” but not particularly college/university life. I’m a night owl. I recharge by dipping in and out of people (please give me alone time to read and think, even if it’s in the middle of a coffee shop). I enjoy contemporary worship styles and gatherings of fairly large people. And to me, the ideal escape from all of that is time sitting at the end of my dock on the lake.
Wow. Kind of a revealing exercise for me. I think I need to live in a condo on Newbury Street in downtown Boston! Next to a Starbucks with a Clover coffee machine. Now how does all that fit with South Florida? That’s the mystery and delight of the adventure.
Where would you live?
