Twelve Years.

Twelve years ago. Unbelievable.

David and i walked into the Marriott World Center and found ourselves in a parallel universe. In this world there were families wandering around laughing, little ones dragging teddy bears, kids who seemed…happy. It was my first homeschool convention, my first stop at Florida Parent Educators Association, or FPEA. We were entranced.

Twelve years ago. Jillian was dragging her blankie around and learning that the world could be unkind to kids who had their own dreams for life. David and I were in the unsure stage of the homeschooling decision. Could we? Should we? How? We knew we wanted our two daughters to forge their own ways of looking at life, and we had a good idea that homeschooling was how we were going to accomplish that. But…really? Twelve years ago there were an awful lot of denim jumpers walking around that hotel. I am not a denim jumper kind of girl.

Then we stepped foot into the curriculum hall and every doubt fled away like worries on Christmas morning. I was energized by the amazing options. Squished and pushed on every side (the FPEA was already outgrowing its home in the Marriott and contemplating the Gaylord Palms…oh those were the days!), I felt like I’d stepped into my comfort zone. Let other moms be shell-shocked and overwhelmed, I was happy.

Twelve years later the journey ends this weekend. Three years ago we graduated Kylie. This year our baby Jillian walks down the aisle to Pomp and Circumstance. In all those years I have loved every moment in the curriculum hall until. quite frankly, last year. That’s when I realized I didn’t need any of it anymore. Even as early as last year I could see this day coming. Our curriculum buying was over. Sometimes the curriculum hall feels like a graveyard of failure (“Tried that, didn’t work. Tried that, tried that, tried that.”) Other times it feels like the magic ingredients that added up to our unique, amazing girls (“Little bit of that, some of this, we threw in a whole lot of that.”).

Twelve years.

It’s been an incredible ride. I’ve quit homeschooling every February (burnout…take a week off it will go away.). I’ve developed new ways to teach old information (mall school is still my favorite: architecture, nutrition and consumer science wrapped into a shopping experience that reset Momma’s happiness quotient!). I’ve been through 4-H and more music lessons than I can remember.

Jillian walks down the aisle on Sunday morning, but I’m also closing a chapter in my life. I’m proud of her. I’m proud of all of us. But tonight I felt a bittersweet longing to conquer the curriculum hall just one more time.

Tagged as: FPEA, Graduation, Homeschool, little girls