Coffee Shop Journal

“Oftentimes, if you decide to embrace the tension and move forward, this is your first battle. To move forward, we can’t keep everything we always had. We have to pick what to take, what is absolutely necessary, and leave behind some things that have been important to us. What used to provide comfort may now only take up space or be a hindrance to getting where we need to go.”

These words, from The Tangible Kingdom by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay have stayed with me during the days since I read them. One the literal level the author was discussing a recent move to Colorado from Oregon, in which he discovered there just wasn’t room enough in the moving truck for all his possessions. On that level alone this quote has convicted me. David and I have noticed that we are often happier in a hotel room or in our Lexington condo, which has just the few things we need to live comfortably in the space while we are up there. When we return home, our house feels weighed down with the baggage of the years. As we pass through the milestones of our lives, friends and family along the way give us things, things that they believe are important or apply so well to a particular phase of life. For instance, nearly all of us have wedding china but we rarely use it. I have tablecloths that fit my first dining room table, but not the larger one that I like to use now. And don’t get me started on the books that were significant to me, but which I no longer read. We accumulate these things because they were important - they truly were. But now I am faced with the tension of realizing that if I want to move forward in our life — if I want to feel at home in my own home — I need to let go of things that used to be important.

This also applies on a metaphorical level. In ministry — friendships and the intangible activities that make up our lives — we need to edit our choices as well. We need to be able to let go of things we have “always done” in order to make room for the things God is calling us to do right now. The life God is calling me to — in this time and place — takes time. I will not be able to spend that time if I don’t make different choices than I have in the past.

So I guess my question to us all is this: are the choices we are making day in and day out consistent with the calling God has placed on our lives at this season in our journey?

One final quote from The Tangible Kingdom (for today, anyway!) really reminded me of my priorities.

“When I walk into Starbucks, I don’t think about coffee. That’s predetermined . . . tall black Americano. I ponder the lives of everyone I see. I wonder about their spiritual journeys, their highs and lows . . . and where they look for direction in their search. My initial assumption is that in any room full of people, very few know Christ. I ask myself how I could get into their lives or how a conversation might begin. I don’t see them as projects — that wouldn’t go very far. I see them as sould the Lord loves who simply haven’t seen or heard an accurate message about the Kingdom. I always feel confident that I may one day be talking with them about life and God. Oddly enough, this seems to happen all the time.”

I started a new book today: Do Hard Things by Alex & Brett Harris. This book is making the graduation gift rounds, for good reason. It is written by a pair of 19 year old twins who are fed up with the cultural expectations (or lack thereof) placed on teens. It is an incredible challenge to do hard things, to stretch. I know you’ll be hearing more about it from me by the end of the day. For a little sneak peek, these are 5 hard things.

1. Things that are outside your comfort zone.
2. Things that go beyond what is expected or required.
3. Things that are too big to accomplish alone.
4. Things that don’t earn an immediate payoff.
5. Things that challenge the cultural norm.

Five good blog posts, right there. I’m only a few chapters into this book, which is quick and easy reading on one level, but already these 19 year olds are kicking my 44 year old backside. Ouch. Parents, click over to Amazon and make sure you and your kids read this. But first, go read this blog post, where the authors help you as parents approach the concept.

Predictably, we’re all dealing with ferocious time-change issues here. The Saunders family can travel west without blinking an eye, but ask us to travel east and adjust to the new time zone and we’re in trouble. We’ve been up all night and asleep half the day, falling far behind in that “real life” stuff that plagues us all. So please forgive me this post tonight. I’ve just strung together several of the thoughts wandering through my brain and our conversations here at the house today.

I finished a new fiction book, “The Warrior” by Mark Andrew Olsen. This is a suspense novel based on terrorism, spiritual warfare, and the intersection of carnal, earthly battles with spiritual realm battles. I read Olsen’s first book, “The Watchers,” and couldn’t wait to read this one! It didn’t disappoint me, and may be responsible for more of that “up all night” than the time zone change! I wish that life could be as clear as fiction. I find myself, after reading a book like this (or The Shack, which affected me in a similar way) wishing I could communicate with God on a concrete, verbal level. Wouldn’t it be amazing to feel God’s spirit point us in an absolute direction, like a conversation with your spouse or friend? Do I not experience that because I don’t expect it? What would happen if I did hear from God concretely and immediately? Would I have the courage to obey, no matter what? I found an interview with the author of The Warriors on this blog, here.

I’ve also been thinking about the phrase my mom used to pull out once in awhile: that’s of no redeeming value. Most of the time she was right, but that’s beside the point. I’ve been pondering the phrase in light of the four part gospel story, and the work of redemption that we’re called on to perform. How do you decide what is of redeeming value? I will be the first one to admit that I have found God’s voice in some unlikely spots. Eli Stone, the television show, comes to mind. There are other shows, occupations, activities that are literally of no redeeming value, meaning that we can’t redeem anything out of them. So as a Christ Follower wanting to live an incarnational life in the places God has called me, how do I decide what has “redeeming value”? Must everything? Do the small things of everyday life have redeeming value? Have I become so immune to the small Graces God provides each day that I have have forgotten to even ponder their value?

No answers today: just questions to ponder as I go about the dirty work of making everyday life function again.

One of the best parts of writing posts everyday, in my opinion, is to sometimes write in order to give yourself a pep talk! I’ve often heard preachers say, “I’m preaching to myself, here.” Well today, I’m preaching to myself. I need to constantly stop and evaluate where I am at in my thinking, since I can allow wrong attitudes to sneak in the back door. Or come grandly through the front door. Today I am working on knowing who I am in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life. John Maxwell, in his Leadership Gold book and seminar, offers a little bit of advice on holding up when the world seems to be criticizing.

• Know yourself: this is a reality issue. I have to learn to separate criticism on something I do, say, or even wear from the core of who I am. My self-worth is in God, and my joy is in my family. Those things can’t be taken away, and when I remember them I am happier.
• Change yourself: this is a responsibility issue. Yes, there are some issues I should deal with. I need to stop whining about them (”Why don’t these clothes fit?”) and get a plan together to accomplish them. If my book isn’t written, I am the on who needs to start outlining it. If my schedule is out of control, I am the one who needs to learn to say no. These are the things I can — and should — change.
• Accept yourself: this is a maturity issue. As Maxwell points out, there comes a time when we all need to grow up and stop depending on affirmation from other people. Not only are most other people not thinking about you at all, but they are also waiting for affirmation from you! Realizing this helps me make my mission in life clearer. Affirm people and watch them grow.
• Forget yourself: this is a security issue. Focus on others. Focus on others. Focus on others. Really, this is the only point I need to remember. It is the beginning and the end of security. Focus on others.

Regrettably, I’m at the end of Jim and Casper Go to Church. The journey, however, is just beginning. I am in that evangelist mode right now: “Every person who works in or near a church has GOT TO READ THIS BOOK!” So much of my life is invested in the church, a place I love, and which is apparently largely incomprehensible to most of those who don’t walk through its doors. I also love life “out there,” in the wide, wide world beyond the church parking lot. I love the goodness and diversity you can find there. I sense God smiling out there sometimes. My continual frustration is how to bring those worlds together! Jim Henderson and Matt Casper, in holding that mirror up to us, may have also given us an action plan to accomplish some of that goal. To continue my metaphor, a mirror can often inspire me to make different lifestyle choices: move more, eat less. It can tell me what makeup is not working, what clothes do me favors, what hairstyle I need to reconsider. This book can do that, too, if we have the courage to really listen. And make no mistake, it will take courage. But at the end of the road, we may be able to build a bridge to authentic, true “for real” friendships.

I guess I’d like some straight shooting: ‘Hi. Life is challenging But we’ve found that being followers of Jesus has helped us. Maybe it could help you, too.’ That’d be refreshing. And I’d be interested in hearing more and asking questions. In short, I’d be interested in having a conversation.

-Matt Casper

Some of the resources available for further exploration

Off the Map - Jim Henderson’s site for ideas on putting faith into practice in concrete ways, connecting with the community and links to everything related.

Conversations at the Edge - a site devoted to respectful conversations with people of all viewpoints. This is designed to bring you to the edge of your comfort zone.

Ebay Atheist - the original “atheist for hire” that started the conversation.

Doable Evangelism - putting the concepts into actual practice in the actual world. Shocking!

Justice and Compassion - putting feet to our faith.

Just to warn you: no matter who you are, you will certainly not agree with everything you read on these sites and blogs. In fact, that’s the point! But to me, it was mind-boggling to peek into the conversations swirling around us. Go check them out, then come back and share what you have found!

On the trip out here today I was reading Jim and Casper go to Church, by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper. See my post here for a brief description of the book. I’m still processing everything I read, but I can tell you this…reading this book was a very familiar experience for me. It was like looking in the 360 degree mirror on the tv show What Not to Wear. Or maybe it was like trying on the first bathing suit of spring, and realizing that the winter was not as kind as you thought. Henderson and Casper have provided a very accurate mirror for us to gaze into. Somethings reflected back are pretty dog gone good. Other things feel more like ten pounds of excess baggage. In any case, there is a lot of food for thought here. So far I am prodded and poked in some uncomfortable places. For instance, how willing am I to be authentic with the people I meet who don’t agree with me? It’s one thing to be transparent with those who can quote my own theology (and even then it is difficult!). Could I do it with a Muslim? An atheist? Am I willing to let others see me as I truly am? More tomorrow…I’m adjusting to a new time zone!

Tonight I am preparing to fly across the country to attend a family wedding outside of Portland, Oregon. I have to admit that I am still geeky enough to enjoy a day of travel under the right circumstances. I’m looking forward to seeing new places and new people, something Craig Groeschel has been talking about over on Swerve, the Lifechurch.tv blog. Craig talks about intentional “disruptions” to your routine, a process that allows new thoughts and ideas to find fertile ground. It gives ideas room to breathe. So I am hoping to find some intentionally disruptive time in Oregon. Considering all the family that will be gathering, I’m pretty sure there will be a disruption of one type or another! Remember that prayer, asking God to help me come to the end of myself? Yeah…he’s getting ready to answer it.

As I go, I’m thinking still about the range of people Dan Merchant talked about in Lord, Save Us From Your Followers. I am praying for opportunities on this trip to open conversations that maybe I would never have started before reading this book.

There’s a lot about faith and God that I don’t quite understand. I’m okay with the fact that “full, complete, perfect love” is beyond my reach and beyond the reach of this world. I know I’m probably limited to grasping sand-sized bits of understanding, but I’m grateful for those little bits. Each and every one of the meetings, conversations, and interactions I had along this journey brought me so many grains of sand closer to understanding what real love is.

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day - Chapter 8

It has been awhile since I’ve posted a Snowy Day post. Life has been busy! But tonight I was drawn back to Mark Batterson’s book, and we are now on chapter 8: the importance of looking foolish. Let’s start with a quote:

We try to look like everybody else. We try to talk like everybody else. We try to dress like everybody else. And the end result? We become like everybody else. We hide our idiosyncrasies and insecurities behind the mask of who we think we’re supposed to be. We stop being ourselves and start being who we think everyone wants us to be.

But something invaluable and irreplaceable is lost when we cave in to conformity. We lose our personality. We lose our originality. And at some point we lose our soul. Instead of becoming the one-of-a-kind original we were destined to be, we settle for a carbon copy of someone else.

Here’s the deal, as Mark Batterson says: if you aren’t willing to look foolish, you’re foolish. I’ve been praying lately for God to take me to the end of myself, to get me to the point where all I want is what He wants. A big prayer, but life is a journey. And then I pick up Snowy Day and realize the chapter is about looking foolish while we are dreaming the big, limitless dreams that God gives us.

I don’t know of anyone who more exemplifies this kind of holy foolishness than Carlos Whittaker, a man I’ve actually never met (yet!). Read his blog. Carlos is willing to be childlike, creative and unorthodox in his never-ending quest to be an authentic Christ Follower in this world. This week alone the Ragamuffin Soul was willing to show us his Ragamuffin Top as he begins a fitness quest. We’ve seen him dancing with his daughters, playing ping pong with his co-workers in a riveting live-stream. We’ve seen him interviewing leaders, riding the bus, fast-forwarding through his day, and leading us in worship. He opens his world and is willing to be transparent to show us the real world, a real dad, real ministry. Yeah, Ragamuffin Soul looks foolish. I wish I could, too.

Mark Batterson, who knows Carlos by the way, and would probably agree with my assessment, tells the story of riding in the van with his wife and kids, music blaring. Mark and his wife Lora get all jiggy to the music they have going. Their kids think they are crazy, but the people in the car behind them really think they are nuts. He writes:

But who is crazy? Is it us? Or is it the people who can’t hear the music? I’d like to think the crazy people are the ones who aren’t dancing because they can’t hear the music.

There is an old proverb: “Those who hear not the music think the dancer is mad.”

I’ve been praying for God to take me to the end of myself, and this chapter of In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day (please, Mark…can you think of a shorter title next time?) reminds me that perhaps the fears I am facing really result from my fear of appearing foolish. I’ve been praying this prayer, but I’m a little afraid God is going to take me up on it.

At least I’ll be in good company.

I recently watched a video based on the book Jim and Casper Go to Church. The book, which I haven’t read yet but is on its way (thanks to Amazon 1-click!), is the story of  an atheist who visits our churches and offers up his opinion. I am anxious to read his words, painful as they are likely to be. If you want to, watch the video over on Ed Bahler’s blog, here.

The words that convicted me are these: Matt Casper asks us as Christians to invite him into our homes and our hearts before trying to “sell” him on our religion. This statement, from an atheist, is perhaps the best theology of hospitality that I have read recently. So many times in our homes and in our interactions in the community we are only willing to extend a superficial friendship, a shallow grace. We are willing to sit and chat with an “outsider” (to use the term the book unChristian uses), but we are very slow to open our hearts in true friendship. To some of us, it is even unthinkable if we are honest with ourselves.

And yet, through the ages of Christianity the act of sharing a meal in friendship has been the most powerful demonstration of just what Christ did for us. Matt Casper’s comment reminded me of a chapter in Brennan Manning’s class book The Ragamuffin Gospel. Consider this quote:

In the year of 1925, if a wealthy plantation owner in Atlanta extended a formal invitation to four colored cotton pickers to come to his mansion for Sunday dinner, preceded by cocktails and followed by several hours of brandy and conversation, the Georgia aristocracy would have been outraged, neighboring Alabama infuriated, and the Ku Klux Klan apoplectic. Sixty or seventy years ago in the deep South, the caste system was inviolable, social and racial discrimination inflexible and indiscretion made the loss of reputation inevitable.

Today the lines of reputation in the Christian community are not based on race, as in 1925, but they are based on insider standing. Outreach to an outsider is permissible, perhaps coffee, but inviting them into your home? Scandalous.

So I ask you, have you lost your reputation yet? I know my reputation is still largely intact, a matter of conviction that Matt Casper so kindly pointed out. And he is so right. One more quote from Ragamuffin Gospel.

Through table fellowship Jesus ritually acted out his insight into Abba’s indiscriminate love — a love that causes His sun to rise on bad men as well as good, and His rain to fall on honest and dishonest men alike (see Matthew 5:45). The inclusion of sinners in the community of salvation, symbolized in table fellowship, is the most dramatic expression of the ragamuffin gospel and the merciful love of the redeeming God.

Once in awhile I hit overload. Too much information comes in, and I need time to process it! And yet…to go without reading is like a day without breathing. Impossible. So I spent the last two days reading a couple of mildly interesting books that required little interaction on my part.

The first is Beautiful Boy by David Sheff. This is his website. What a powerful story! David Sheff tells about the life of his son, Nic, and his journey into and through drug addiction. Unlike similar memoirs I’ve read in the past, the author managed to portray Nic as the beautiful, loving, incredibly smart child that he was, as well as a sense of place to their life. This background of vivid writing helped me feel the rollercoaster ride as Nic picked himself up from relapse after relapse. I don’t have any addicts close to me (that I know of…one thing I learned from this book is that you truly don’t know whether that statement is true), but Beautiful Boy helped me build empathy for those who do. Like so many others, I have often been guilty of simplifying an addiction down to “Why don’t they just stop drinking/using/smoking.” Not any more. David Sheff opened my eyes to an alternate reality, and he made me care about his family. Well done.

The second book I read was Serve God, Save the Planet by J. Matthew Sleeth. Dr. Sleeth and his family embarked on a journey to reduce their ecological footprint and use the money savings to support relief efforts overseas and here at home. None of the ideas in this book were radically new, but Dr. Sleeth combined them with real life examples that reminded me that each of these ideas is quite doable. Did you know that if we all just replaced 5 lightbulbs with fluorescent or LED lightbulbs we could take 21 coal factories offline? Small, achievable goals are the focus of this short, fun read. Perhaps especially useful is the daily, weekly and yearly goal checklist in the back of the book. I didn’t think this book affected me a whole lot, but David keeps telling me I’m talking about it every ten minutes, and I did find myself wondering whether I shouldn’t go to Whole Foods EVERY day, but maybe should plan ahead? I’m kind of joking (and kind of not). David and I are trying to think through our stewardship of energy and resources, and this book was a helpful addition to that process.

That’s all for today…I’m taking a day for laundry, cooking something fun and watching David build a computer with his friend Matt.