I read this in my email today from our friend Buddy Hoffman at Grace Fellowship, our church when we are in Atlanta. Sometimes I run across something I hadn’t even known in my soul until someone else verbalizes it. This letter, which is his regular weekly email to his congregation, is one of those moments. This IS what I want. This IS what we need. If you aren’t finding it, get yourself to a place where you do. It’s worth it.

This past week, while Jody and I were on vacation, I found myself in the unusual circumstance of not having to be anywhere on Sunday. Often, even when I am not a Grace, I am somewhere else teaching. I went out for a walk and began thinking about where we would worship Sunday, and it occurred to me that this is not a question I often ask: “What do I want in a church?” Then it occurred to me that I was really contemplating another question, easier to answer: “What do I not want.”

Kind of like, when it comes time to choose a restaurant, someone asks, “Where do you want to eat?” The answer sounds easy, but not even close.
“Anywhere.” comes the answer.
“How about burgers?” you say.
“I’m not thinking burgers.” is the reply.
“How about Subway?” you say.
“Had that Thursday.” comes the answer.
Someone starts naming places, and your realize all you really know is what you don’t want.

When it comes to church, I know what I am not looking for. I have no passion to sit with people lined up in pews, sing three hymns and listen to a sermon with three points and a poem. I have no yearning to hear someone’s idea of a religious pep talk, with a few movie clips thrown in to prove they are culturally relevant. I have no desire to listen to a Christian concert put on by a hand-full of rock band wannabes. It’s not that I mind hymns, poems or relevant movie clips, and I certainly enjoy a good band.

But, unlike finding a place to eat, I do know exactly what I want in a church gathering.

I want to hear someone open the Bible to a passage of Scripture that they have prayed over, meditated on, researched and marinated in. I want to hear what they learned, I want to hear what they discovered, I want to hear not just the results of their research, not just an academic lecture, but what they have heard from God. I want to know how this passage has impacted the church, not just this church, but the church historic.

I want to know how this passage intersects with the context of the whole of Scripture – where does this fit in the meta-narrative of Scripture, the Kingdom of God. I want to know how this passage has convicted and comforted the people that have gone before me, the communion of the Saints. I want to know what this passage meant in it’s orginal context to the ones God gave it. What were their circumstances and how did this passage shape them? I want to sit with a Bible in my hand, and look into that Word and listen for that voice deep in my soul that speaks to me though His Word.

I treasure that voice, it seldom screams, it most often whispers, but it is real as the skin I am in. I want to sit with a gathering of people who also long to hear that voice. I want to look around and see that same longing on their faces I feel in my heart. I want to look across the room and see people with old Bibles that are falling apart, new bibles with pages that are still stuck together, techies with Bibles on their iphones, and people who are just trying to figure it out but sense there is something going on here that is more than a history lesson, more than a lecture, more than a pep talk. I want an encounter with God Himself.

Then I want to this same person who has been marinating in this passage to challenge us all with how this connects to today and tomorrow. I want to hear what they have heard the Spirit speak; I want to hear that prophetic voice.

Then I want some time to absorb what I have heard; I don’t want to just jump up and run out. I want a worship leader to take me deeper in my response to the Word, to the prompting of the Spirit of the Living God. I want time to repent – the word “repent” means “to change my mind.” I want my mind renewed; I need to reflect on what I have heard. I want the kind of worship leader that knows it’s more than a “set list” and leading the band; it’s turning people’s faces to the face of God. It’s giving God what God is seeking: worship.

Sometimes it’s as brief as a blink, sometimes it is more like melting a glacier, but I do not want to just run out. If worship is responding rightly to Revelation, then I want to worship. I do not mean just sing a song, although it might be a song, or it might be a prayer. It might be that I need to raise my hands in surrender and agreement. It might be I need to get on my knees, right then and there; it might mean I need to get on my face, not later but now, in humility and with abandon. And I hunger to gather with people who feel the freedom to do the same.

I might need someone to pray with me. I want to be with people I can just turn to and say, “I need prayer” without feeling they are going to think I am strange. I love feeling someone’s hand on my shoulder and hearing them pray for me without even asking.

That is want I want. I really don’t care if it is in a Cathedral or a storefront. I don’t care if it is across the street or across town. It does not matter that much to me if the teacher is ordained, wearing a robe, in blue jeans, young or old. I really have no preference concerning the size of the church or the style of the service. What I want it to hear from God and gather with people who share that hunger. I want to see young people and old people, but real people. I want to be with people of different colors and cultures, but with a common craving for the heart of God.

I want to hear the Word, I want to worship and I want to do it with a community that takes both seriously.

I know what I want.

See you Sunday,
Buddy

It started out like every other session at Catalyst 09: the organizers bring up on stage someone who is living out their faith in a unique way. We’ve seen basketball players and Michael Jackson dancers. In one memorable instance, a guy leapt from 35′9″ into a 12 inch deep pool of water. Catalyst is about experience, and each time a session opens you can bet you are in for a new one.

So this session started like all those others.

Ken Coleman, Catalyst staff and interviewer in chief, climbed the steps accompanied by a young-ish black man. As the interview began we learned that this boy — now a student at Moody — was originally from Kenya. He was a child sponsored by Compassion International. He began to speak, this Kenyan with an unbelievable accent that made us all listen closely. He told us about his family, their poverty, and how his mother had to give him to her sister, to try to help this boy survive. He ended up begging on the streets for awhile. He spoke matter of factly, describing horrors. But at the age of 8 he was sponsored by Compassion. “Mark, a man from the United States, sponsored me and my life was changed.”

Mark was a 20 year old student in the US who had a heart sold out for God. And working out his faith, Mark decided to sponsor a child. He sponsored this man, and sent him a letter. The Kenyan read the letter, an original, battered copy that he obviously treasured. Mark told the then-8-year-old about another friend, Jesus. And the little Kenyan boy believed him. The money from Compassion kept him off the streets. Gave him food. Helped him go to school. And now he is in the States, studying at Moody. Great story.

And oh, yes… the Kenyan now sponsors a child from Haiti, because he wants to give back. Some day he is going to return to Kenya to teach the Bible. Convicting, yes. Wow.

But then, then Jesus showed up.

From off stage out came a man. The man. Mark. The sponsor. Mark had never met his Kenyan “child.” When Ken Coleman made the introductions, the Kenyan man fell sobbing into his arms saying thank you. Now when I say sobbing, I mean sobbing. His sobs could be heard all over the auditorium. The two men stood there in a bear hug while one of them sobbed.

No dry eyes. None.

It was a beautiful picture of the face of God. It was black and white, it was United States and Africa. It was sponsor and sponsoree turned sponsor himself. It was everything that James called pure worship in Bible.

And I was undone.

Like the good little programmers they are, Catalyst staff had packets for any who wanted to sponsor their own child through Compassion. They had 1,200. All were gone within two minutes. If you didn’t agressively snatch a packet from an usher, you were out of luck. Gone.

But there are more. And I will find one!

In a related project, an armored car drove into the auditorium. Out of it came money…lots of it… from Hope International. The plan is this: each Catalyst attendee was given $10 in cash. We need to take that money and turn it into $100. We can do that by raising money or just adding on to it. We can use the $10 to buy supplies to raise money or use it as matching money. In any case, the goal is to return $100 to Hope International for their Never Ending Hope Project. This project has a great idea: raise $100 from us. Loan it to a business person who needs help. The business person pays it back when their business thrives, and then Hope International lends it out again. Your one donation can impact dozens, hundreds of lives. Great use of micro finance and micro lending!

So help me out, bloggy world. How should I turn my $10 into $100? (Technically, I need to turn $20 into $200 because David got his own $10, of course.) Anyone have any good ideas? I know I could just add the money and make up the $100 and send it, but I want to enter into the spirit of the adventure. So send me your ideas, and eventually I’m going to implement one of them. I’ll let you know how it goes! In the meantime, go to Never Ending Hope and check out the website.

And oh yes, you could go to Compassion International as well. They’re waiting for you.

Each year Catalyst gives out a “Lifetime Achievement Award.” This award, coming from the “younger” generation of leaders, is given to a person who exemplifies leadership and outstanding body of cumulative work in the Christian world. Last year this award was given to Billy Graham. This year the Lifetime Achievement Award was given to Chuck Swindoll. What a deserved honor! At 75, he was spry and full of sparkle when he popped up those stairs to accept his award. Afterward, Chuck Swindoll delivered a talk that engaged us, challenged us, and set the bar. The highlights are below, and I should warn you that he loves lists. Lots of lists.

Charles Swindoll

Things I have learned about leadership in 50 years of ministry

1. It’s lonely to lead
2. It’s dangerous to succeed
3. It’s hardest at home (illustrated by a story of changing the battery in his fire detector while being “heckled” by his wife. It ended with a battery being thrown. He was being real.)
4. It’s essential to be real (as I said!)
5. It’s painful to obey
6. Brokenness and failure are necessary to your character
7. My attitude is more important than my actions in any given situation
8. Integrity eclipses image
9. God’s way is always better than my way.
   “Perhaps the goal at Catalyst this year for you is to empty your hands.”
10. Christ likeness begins and ends with humility

“Be willing to leave the familiar methods without disturbing the biblical message. In other words, DON’T MESS WITH THE MESSAGE!”

• With every ministry, a special and unique mercy is needed.
• In every ministry, the same things must be renounced and rejected:
  Hiding shameful things
  Doing deceitful things
  Corrupting truthful things
• Through every ministry,  a unique style should be pursued.

It isn’t about us.

It is about Him.

We are bond servants

Five statements for the next 50 years:

1. Whatever you do, do more with others and less alone. It keeps you accountable.
2. Whenever you do it, emphasize quality…not quantity.
3. Wherever you go, do it the same as if you were among those who know you best. It keeps you authentic.
4. Whoever may respond, keep a level head.
5. However long you lead, keep on dripping with gratitude and grace.

Louie Giglio

Louie is an author and speaker and the director of the Passion Conferences. Recently he has started a local church in the Atlanta area, Passion City Church.

“Leadership is knowing and following Jesus.”

• The theme of Catalyst 09 is “On Your Mark.” To run a race, you need to know where you are going. Where are you going?
• We are all going to a common destination.
• Your life is shaped by the end you live for.
• Our common destination and goal is to see the face of the Son of God.
• His face is what we were made for. We can’t draw our life from anyone else, it is all in the smile of Jesus.
• Find the confidence and courage to be what you need to be.
• “At the end of the day, leadership is not about getting ahead, it is remember we already have one.”

Louie ended with a great analogy. We have all seen the show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. At the end, just before the big reveal, Ty Pennington gathers with the family behind the big bus. As the crowd yells “Move That Bus!” the bus driver moves to reveal the new home while the camera stays fixed on the family and the music swells. We watch the family’s faces. And reflected there is the beauty and awe of their new home. The children whoop and holler, the momma cries, the daddy tries hard not to cry. (I usually do cry!). Only then do the cameras turn and pan the home. Our faces, said Louie, should be a bit like that. We should be reflecting the beauty and awe and grace and unfathomable magnificence of our Lord. People should say, “Wow, I’ve found God on your face.”

Andy Stanley

Closing Session — The Multiple Choice Team

I. Occasionally, there are gaps between what we expect people to do and what they actually do. This is expected and unavoidable. Sooner or later, something does not live up to your expectations or other’s expectations. This creates a gap.

A. We choose what goes in those gaps.

B. We choose to expect the best or assume the worst.

C. Two things make it difficult for us to believe the best: What I see and Who I am.

“We can choose to put ‘believe the best’ in that gap.

II. Developing a culture of trust is critical to the health and success of your organization.

A. Trust fuels productivity.

B. A culture characterized by trust attracts trustworthy people and quickly surfaces those who aren’t. Will everyone be trustworhty? No, of course not. But choosing to trust them will reveal them quickly so you can move them out of that position before they hurt your organization.

1. You will never know who you can’t trust until you trust them.

“The moment you feel the need to tightly manage someone, you might have made a hiring mistake.” Jim Collins

2. You will never know who you can trust until you trust them.

3. Trusting is risky. Refusing to trust is riskier.

C. Trust enables an organization to move faster.

“Teams use trust as currency. If it is in short supply, then the team is poor. If trust abounds, the members of the team have purchase power with each other to access each other’s gifts, talents, energy, creativity and love. The development of trust, then, becomes a significant leadership strategy.” Reggie McNeal

III. Developing a culture of trust begins with the leader.

A. Trust and suspicion are both telegraphed from the leader throughout an entire department or organization. You may think they don’t know….but they do!

B. When you can’t trust, you must choose to confront.

1. Concealed suspicion poisons the entire relationship.

“The moment there is suspicion about a person’s motives, everything he does becomes tainted.” Mahatma Gandhi

2. The consequences of confrontation are far less severe than the consequences of concealment.

C. To develop a culture of trust, leaders must be trustworthy.

Day Two at Catalyst did not disappoint! I came expecting a great day of connecting and learning and growing, but I have to admit to a little bit of grumbling at the early hour this morning! I am NOT a morning person, and the first session was an unknown (to me) speaker, so really why not sleep?

Glad I didn’t! I knew better.

So for now, here are the highlights of Day Two

Priscilla Shirer

Priscilla is an amazing speaker. She brought it for the first session of Catalyst this morning, and woke that crowd up right away! The daughter of preacher Tony Evans, she learned her preaching skills well. Today she spoke about “Life Interrupted,” a life that is divinely called and sent in a new direction. In other words, my life and your life.

• We need to yield to the interrupted life. It is God’s way of moving us in a new direction.
• Joshua is a biblical example of a man living an interrupted life.
• Joshua acted immediately after hearing from the Lord. What is it that God is asking you to do? Act on it immediately! We are so good at excuses.
• Joshua acted fearlessly, using the Holy Spirit inside of him.
• Joshua acknowledged the presence of God, and so should we. “If God isn’t going, we don’t go, either.” jesus did his father’s will…and nothing else. What would it be like if we only moved when we sensed God moving?
• Anticipate God’s miracles: stop playing it safe.

Priscilla told a story that bears repeating. Her young son was encountering the tooth fairy for the first time. He received $5 under his pillow, an amount his momma thought was extravagant. Hubby told Priscilla, “Don’t worry…I used the money from all those birthday cards he got and we put away.” In other words, Priscilla pointed out, her son was excited over a treasure he already possessed. Christians are often the same way: we have the treasure of the Holy Spirit within us but need to rediscover it.

Dave Ramsey

Most of you have probably heard Dave Ramsey speak on radio or television about finances. Today he spoke about building momentum.  Enjoyably, he began his presentation by having the crowd sing the lyrics to “The Beverly Hillbillies.” We knew every word. Even though 80% of us (not me, unfortunately) were born after the show was cancelled in 1971. That’s momentum.

• When you have momentum, you look better than you are. When you don’t, you are better than you look.
• Momentum is created. It does not randomly occur.
• “Some of you haven’t ever worked hard enough to be burned out!” You have to pour yourself into your craft to create momentum.
• Momentum is Focused Intensity over Time, multiplied by God. (I have no idea how to type mathematical equations…sorry!)
• Focus is amazing in a culture that has none.
• If you try to do it all, all at once, you won’t be able to get anything done!
• Two things can cause you to lose momentum: fear and greed.
• Excellence dissipates when you look too far ahead and anticipate what you haven’t yet earned.
• Intensity: Pour intensity into things that matter. Nothing moves unless it is shoved. Intensity moves things!
• “Light that is dispersed will light up a room, but light that is focused into a laser can perform surgery.”
• “I persist long enough to win.” Og Mandino
• Time: Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? The tortoise wins every time. Think about it.
• God: You are finite, but God is infinite. He multiplies your effectiveness when you pour yourself into something that matters. Shed the things that don’t matter.

After Dave Ramsey came a special, unbelievable time of discussing sponsorship of children and adoption. I am too emotionally spent to discuss it now, and it deserves its own post. Let’s just say that when they were finished, I was undone, wrecked. And that doesn’t happen easily.

OK, gang, that’s going to have to hold us over for the night. I’m so tired I can’t see straight! There is so much more to share.  First up tomorrow, Catalyst 09’s Lifetime Achievement Award winner, Chuck Swindoll. Not to mention Louie Giglio and another Andy Stanley message! David and I drive home in the morning…lots of time to type!

Goodnight from Catalyst 09!

Make your mark!

That’s the theme of this year’s Catalyst event in Atlanta. David and I are here to soak up the teaching, the atmosphere, the leadership skills. And there is just so much to soak up! If you imagine Thanksgiving Day, and the feeling you have in the morning as the smell of turkey starts to blend with Gramma’s squash casserole and an apple pie or two… well if you image that, you can imagine the anticipation and reality of Catalyst. It is like a day of feasting. And now, now it is after the feast and I’m sleepy and full.

Arrival at Catalyst is always exciting. There are pre-show bands playing, food, and — memorably — a helicopter drop of paratrooper Chick-fil-A cows. Unfortunately, I missed that because we were stuck in the horrendous traffic trying to turn into the convention center. Once you turned in the drive, by the way, there were pink flamingos lining the entryway. I have no idea why. But I enjoyed them!

We had a great lineup of speakers today, interspersed with legendary Catalyst activities and comedy. The day kicked off with Andy Stanley, then Jessica Jackley (founder of Kiva), Malcolm Gladwell (author of The Tipping Point, Blink and Outliers), Shane Hipps (“Flickering Pixels”), Rob Bell, Tony Dungy, Matt Chandler and Frances Chan. Unbelievable.

To get a little taste of the teaching, here are a few of my highlights from the day.

Andy Stanley

• Whose mark are you making? Yours or God’s?
• You won’t recognize your “mark” until years later. You don’t know the thing that will make the greatest difference.
• The Angel of the Lord has not come to be part of your story; he has come to invite you to be part of his story.
• Don’t just be a leader in authority, but a leader under authority.
• Who are you FOR?
• Be more concerned whose side you’re on than who’s on your side.

Malcolm Gladwell

• Incompetence irritates me; over-confidence scares me.
• Don’t be trapped by your confidence.
• In times of crisis what we need from our leaders is humility
• A sign of over-confidence: you stop listening to those around you.

Shane Hipps

• How you say something is as important as what you say.
• The medium IS the message.
• Words invite argument, but images bypass logic and are not argued. Hence advertising.
• The ever-changing gospel never changes
• What if the gospel is a living thing rather than a lifeless artifact?
• We need gardeners, rather than guards. The gospel is more like a garden, growing and alive, than a priceless painting.
• In the gospel there is no room for fear.

Rob Bell

Rob is an experience, more than a list of bullets! Honestly, I can’t even break his message down because he sent my mind spinning in so many directions. I did very much enjoy his advice to pastors and others very involved in the church to keep a Sabbath and take care of your family first.

Matt Chandler

• God created everything.
• Everything creates a sense of worship in the human soul…even a good meal or a beautiful piece of music.
• What God said he was going to do, he’s doing right now! He is doing it!
• Get up, repent and mature… learn to live in deeper waters of intimacy.
• Fix your eyes on Jesus.

Francis Chan and Aaron Keyes

Day one of Catalyst 09 ended with a worship service and communion. It is difficult to make 12,500 people feel intimate, but somehow they did. Aaron Keyes is an amazing worship leader. He happens to be the worship pastor at Buddy Hoffman’s church, Grace Fellowship. If you have read Coffee Shop Journal at all you know that this is my “home” church in Atlanta. We love Grace Fellowship, and it felt like getting to see your own team play for the World Series. Aaron’s music is worship music, and worship we did. When Francis Chan got up to speak, he read the scriptures over us. Yes, that’s about it. He read the scriptures over us because he realized that to display the grace of God, you must soak in the grace of God. In the end, we took communion together and stayed to worship as a (very big) family. It was intense and powerful and felt like the Spirit was pouring rain down on us after a long, long day.

I can’t even begin to imagine day two!

I sat in a meeting yesterday with Phil. I have known Phil and his wife for years. We’ve spent time in worship together, eaten at social events together and — memorably — served side by side on a committee of leaders committed to living life together in community. Most recently, David and I have been with Phil in a group of people learning about generosity together. So you know who Phil is: he’s the guy you know from church. You know him this well, but no more. He could be sitting in the next row from you in church this week, too. He is, in many ways, a church everyman.

Well yesterday, as I said, we were in a meeting on generosity with Phil. It was one of those meetings that could go either way. You might end up baring your soul or you might end up creating a church-wide action plan. Or you could, conceivably, end up wishing you’d kept your dentist appointment instead of attending this meeting. Now you know the kind of meeting we were in with Phil. Perfectly unremarkable.

Until Phil began talking.

He told a story about the whole armor of God. And forget the tacky Roman sword and breastplate…Phil related that passage of scripture to the gear he used during his time in Vietnam. It was a time in his life where that helmet of truth — the helmet — was more than a theory to Phil. No helmet, no head. Simple. That belt and breastplate and sword, they were the tools that kept Phil alive. He told us about a buddy, standing next to him, who was dead in an instant. With a tongue that dripped vocabulary like KIA and MIA and WIA without hesitation, Phil reminded us that living in the kingdom is living in a war zone. And maybe, just maybe, some of us are standing around without our helmets on.

Phil has a great story, and I never would have known it if I didn’t sit still long enough to hear it. And his background colors and influences everything he does. For Phil, our study in generosity means something completely different because of his experiences. It’s richer, or at least different, from mine.

I was convicted yesterday, wondering how many unique and inspiring stories like Phil’s are sitting next to me in church or the coffee shop. And I’m wondering how to tell them.

You impact three people, who impact three people, who impact...

Last night and today John Maxwell, who is a teaching pastor at my church, Christ Fellowship, spoke on the topic of generosity. But before you assume generosity means he’s gunning for your wallet, you need to redefine your definition of the word. John’s sermon dealt with living a generous life, and it was one of the best I have heard from him. Here are just a few of my takeaways.

We can bless only because we are so blessed.

Pay It Forward Principles:

1. Recognizes that others have helped us.
2. Requests that we help others.
3. Means getting beyond yourself.
4. Is action-oriented.
   “The greatest gap in the entire world is the gap between knowing and doing.”
5. Is intentional.
6. Multiplies when passed on to others.
7. Is graded by effort, not results.
8. Changes the world, one person at a time.
   “God isn’t expecting you to do amazing things…He is expecting you to do something.”

Questions to ask ourselves:

• What have I been given: look backward
• What do I have: look inward
• What can I do: look forward

All very well and good, but before we can go out and make that difference, we have to know what we have to give. We have to know what we are gifted at, what our passion is, and what our opportunity is.

God won’t hold us accountable for gifts we don’t have.

Stat with what you have, not with what you don’t have.

Opportunity is always where you are, not where you were.

Great opportunities to help people seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.

John concluded his portion of the sermon with a reminder that success is determined by your daily agenda, what you do every day. He applied his “Rule of 5″: do 5 things to move your project along every day, and sooner or later you will accomplish your goal. For instance, in writing a book, every day John reads, he files, he thinks, he asks questions and he writes. Every day.

But wait there’s more!

After John was done, he called his dad, Melvin, to the platform. Now it became abundantly clear where John Maxwell got his vision, drive, passion and love for life. Even though Melvin’s wife (and John’s mom) passed away only a few weeks ago, Melvin is still attacking life with gusto. He has started a “chaplains” program for RV parks. He started this ministry when he was 79. He is now 88. At this time he has 40 or more parks in which his volunteers minister. Wow. He’s still impacting his world. One thing he said that inspired me was that as he was listening to John’s sermon, he was confirmed in the rightness of continuing each day to do one thing for the kingdom. This man of 88 is still sitting and learning from his son and others. By this time, John was choking up and there were a few tears in most of our eyes. How inspiring to see someone still so vibrantly dedicated to the work, even with the load of grief that he has been under. To close the service he prayed a prayer of dedication over the people of the church. There is a power of prayer from a righteous man, and I felt it last night. John Maxwell is ok (!!), but his dad really rocked our world!

Have you had your toes stepped on lately?

My pastor warned us that studying James was like having your toes stepped on repeatedly, and he’s right. God does that sometimes, inflicts a little bit of emotional pain (or a lot of it) to teach us a lesson.

Yesterday I was listening to the August 1 sermon by Buddy Hoffman from Grace Fellowship Church in Georgia. This church is my “second home church,” and when Buddy brings an admonition, I listen. This particular Sunday Buddy was reading a report sent in by the Mystery Worshipper for Ship of Fools website. Let me tell you, these were some tough words to hear. I admire the fact that Buddy was able to read the good, the bad and the ugly to his congregation. We heard it all. And by the time the podcast was over, a lot of toes had been stepped on.

You see, this Mystery Worshipper realized that God was at work at Grace. Anyone stepping on campus can tell that. Great things are happening, almost faster than the congregation can keep up with them. And therein lies the trouble. Everyone at Grace was so busy doing the great things, that a first time visitor felt lost and lonely in the midst of a spiritual feast. The service was amazing, he said. Loved the music. Loved the preaching. No one said hello. No one except the “official” greeter whose job it was, and the usher telling the Mystery Worshipper to change his seat of this reason or that.

So running along on the treadmill, I listened to Buddy remind us that hospitality (also known as community) is a holy work. It isn’t something we offer to those we already know and like the best. It isn’t the “if you have time, could you say hello to someone…” No, it is the above all else kind of commandment. It is holy, and it isn’t optional. Right about then my toes began to ache. Let me tell you why.

Yesterday David and I sat down to eat at one of our favorite restaurants. It was a beautiful day, and we had a seat by the intracoastal waterway where we could watch the boats drift by. We had an appetizer to share and cold iced teas. All should have been well, and it was. Until we noticed that the family sat well after us were in the process of ordering, while we still had our menus and hadn’t put our main order in yet. Even though we’d been waiting long enough to get our appetizer. Normally this kind of thing doesn’t even rise to the level of something to notice, but yesterday…well this waiter was commiting a faux pas in my book, and I needed to share that with him.

I’m sure he was delighted to learn how I felt.

Those of you who know me will know that I wasn’t even really rude (though I felt it, inside). I think I said something along the lines of “It’s just not right to take their order before ours.” The waiter apologized and spent the next half hour hovering over us. Then he heaped a few coals on my head by having the house pay for our appetizer. “We looked on the computer and you come here a lot. We want you to be happy.”

Great. I am known.

Buddy’s words about hospitality stabbed me to the heart later, as I tried to work off that very same food at the gym. “Be especially hospitable to the people out in the community,” he said. Yes, this means waiters. “It’s a holy commandment.” I know my words were not over the top to this poor waiter, but I also know what my attitude was. I was wrong. I was not putting the waiter’s life in proper perspective, assuming that he should exist solely to serve me.

I spent the rest of my workout talking to God about that waiter.

James says that community is hard to build when we are quarreling and grouchy because we want something and don’t have it. I’m limping a little bit today from the toes that have been stepped on, but it’s a good ache. It reminds me of what God wants to do in me.

One of the first full phrases my daughters learned was “That’s mine!” It is the password into the club of toddlerhood, that declaration of individual property rights. And indeed, it was also one fo the first words our new country spoke to England back in the day. Come to think of it, Adam and Eve were pretty excited about claiming what was theirs, as well. Mine.

Today David and I were eating breakfast in Panera Bread. We’d just dropped two of our girls off for a week of outreach in Belle Glade, FL. Belle Glade is a rough area in South Florida, poor, struggling, not pretty. This year our kids gave up their summer camp in order to travel just 45 minutes to Belle Glade and put on a day camp for the kids there. Christ Fellowship students gave up their right to “mine” and focused on someone else. Now I don’t know if most of our kids would have made that choice without the staff making it for them, but I’m praying for a week of growth on their compassion scale. And while listening to their slight grumbling over the trip, I was tempted to judge their attitudes until I thought about how I would feel when faced with the loss of “mine.”

So there we were, as I said, in Panera Bread. It was crowded, as usual. I pondered this, because our Panera isn’t really all that wonderful. It is pretty standard. And yet there the tables were, buzzing. I realized that the percentage of tables with laptops was extremely high due to the free wifi. And the end result was a room filled with interesting, diverse people interacting and having breakfast together. Most gathering spots tend to protect “their” internet, charging fees or memberships. But not Panera. They gave up their right to “mine” and the result was a community that would never have been formed otherwise.

I’m thinking about the things that are “mine” today. Are there places or posessions that would be better used as “ours” than “mine?” Is there a better result waiting for me when I give up the right to “mine” consistently? Do I have the guts to do that?

No answers, just questions today.

I’ve mentioned before that David and I (and the girls) are seeing a Maximized Living Chiropractor. Go check out the website if you want to know more about that, but in a nutshell they teach that it all comes down to your spine. If your spine is properly aligned with all its God-ordained curves (and no extras!) then your nervous system has a clear communication path to the rest of your body. This enables all the parts of your body to hear their instructions clearly, carry them out, and report back to the brain when the job is done. This lets your body heal itself and do the job it was created to do. on its own. It’s a miraculous system. On the wall of my chiropractor is one of their favorite sayings: “The power that made the body is the power that heals the body.” For this reason, after we’ve been adjusted, we’ll often say “I’ve got my power on.” In other words, I’m back in alignment and I’m feeling good!

Tonight was our first night home at Christ Fellowship since our vacation and several other trips that have taken us away from worshipping with our church family. From the moment I walked in the doors, I knew it was good to be home. I was surrounded by a group of women who have all been through — or are going through — the Alzheimer’s mother stage. “Oh yes, the driver’s license is the hardest.” Their words of wisdom from having walked the road ahead of me resonated, calmed me. The worship reminded me of what matters most as we stopped everything to sing, sit at the feet of the King. It is well with my soul. It really is. And then the sermon had some great moments as Tom Mullins and Jonathan Bonar shared the sermon. One great quote of the night? “When you’re faced with the storms of life, you need to learn to dance in the rain.”

As I was walking out of church, I realized it: the church and all it represents are the spine of the spiritual body. Once in awhile you need to go get realigned. And when you do — when the adjustment has happened — every part of the body can communicate. I know that the main part of the kingdom’s ministry happens outside of the church’s walls, but tonight I was reminded how important the church is. Those moments of worship realigned my whole week.

It’s so good to be home.