The Freedom Tower...still only about 2/3 of its eventual height!

It was classic New York City: crossing the bridge into the city and watching the magnificent skyline against the perfect fall sky. I couldn’t have scripted the ride any better. I pointed out a few of the landmark buildings to Kylie and Jillian, even though both of them had been here before and were pretty much ready to roll their eyes in my direction at any minute. They do that once in awhile when I’m being, well, Mom.

“Over there, to the left…do you see the construction lights?”

I was startled by our cab driver jumping into the conversation. David found the lights he was pointing out.

“That is the Freedom Tower. At Ground Zero.”

It was obvious that the driver was proud of the tower. Having just watched Rising (a documentary about the tower project), I was, too. So thrilled to see it start to take its place in the iconic skyline. I pondered the tower. To me it represents the God-given drive in humans to create, and recreate, their world. It represents the refusal to let evil triumph. It represents the global community that coalesced around the project, and the people who lost their lives in that spot. It also represents the people who are giving their lives to healing. Healing the people, healing the city, healing the skyline. The Freedom Tower. What a great name.

The driver wasn’t quite finished yet.

“I’ve been wondering,” he said after revealing he was from Pakistan, “about the difference between some of your words. Can you explain to me the difference between Liberty and Freedom?”

Wow.

Not as easy as it sounds at first. David and I both took a crack at it, and the conversation filled the ride to the hotel. It turns out that our Pakistani driver had a master’s degree in American History, a degree he earned back in Pakistan as he anticipated moving to America. For just a few moments we were able to see New York City through the eyes of this man, the eyes of a man who worked hard and sacrificed everything to point out the construction lights on the floors of the Freedom Tower.

I think that’s what I love about New York City. Things aren’t always what they seem. Sometimes the epiphany — the moment of blinding insight — comes from the most unlikely sources. An epiphany can be around every corner. Probably is. If you look for it.

We were heading to a conference on using “Story” to create epiphanies. David and I would spend days learning from experts how to create compelling stories. It was amazing and overwhelming and full of useful information.

But the epiphany moment of our Qideas Epiphany Workshop was delivered by a Pakistani driver crossing the bridge into a city he couldn’t wait to show us.

Blanchard Hall, the "heartbeat" of the Wheaton campus.

David and I are in the Chicago suburb of Wheaton for my…ahem…25th College Reunion. Today was the warm-up day, the day for us to sneak onto campus, register, wander around looking enviously at the new and improved bookstore, the new and improved dining room, the new and improved student center, the new and improved….well you get the idea. It seems that all is new and improved except, perhaps, the returning alumni! For us there is nothing new and not much improved!!

Or is that true?

Nothing makes you think about the person you have become like your college reunions. If you are prone to a mid-life crisis, a reunion is where you are likely to find it! But as I mingle with these friends who started out on life’s adult journey with me, I’ve realized that I could never have predicted or scripted the course of my crazy life.

In the words of a friend of mine, Bob Goff, my life is inexplicable.

My mind works like one big set of tinker toys, connecting one person to another I just met. I connect books to people, people to projects and to each other. I file information away to be connected to other information at some other time, some other place. I find trends in the challenges facing people who are trying to make a difference in this world, and try to encourage them. I love the people under my wings.

These are the things I do. And as I stand in this rich soil of Wheaton, the place where I started to be who I am, I am coming to appreciate who God has seen fit to make me. Make no mistake: it’s tempting. It’s tempting to look for the new and improved version of everything. It’s tempting to find a new job title that maybe describes me, places me in a category so others can easily figure me out. It’s tempting to wonder about paths not taken, twists and turns.

But I love my life. And I loved standing in the bookstore among all the books I have read and loved. I loved that a faculty member stopped to ask me about our iPads, and whether she should get one for her husband. I loved that I knew the answer to that, and to so many other questions she asked.

David and I agree that we would have LOVED to do college with the technology these kids are toting around in their backpacks. It’s an amazing moment in history to be engaged in learning.

On the other hand, it’s also an amazing moment in history to be out changing the world. And you can’t do that by being jealous of the “new and improved!”

However that salad bar was pretty awesome…and the ice cream machines…and the ice cream topping bar…

Can you ever escape your past?

I need a little lightheartedness today. It’s been a very long time since I’ve shared some of my favorite links, so let’s do a little link love today!

Plywood People
I love this website, spearheaded by Jeff Shinabarger one of my favorite kingdom entrepreneurs. I quick browse through his site will tell you why. Anyway, the other day he posted this online book for us to read. The gist of the book is very John Maxwellian: don’t just sit there, DO. While you read this book (honestly, it’s a picture book and only takes five minutes…DO it), pay attention to the way new media and new presentations are getting books and info out into the public. This little book was mindblowing from that standpoint.

Sami Cone

Sami attended Christ Fellowship with us for many years. We sat in the same front section every Saturday night, and I was sad when she moved to Nashville. But then I found out she was attending Crosspoint church, pastored by  Pete Wilson and directed by my first-ever bloggy friend Jenni Catron, so that made it easier. Anyway, check out her fabulous site that mentors you in the art of intentional family living, including saving amazing amounts of money so you can stay home with your kiddos! Sami is a member of Cultivate Her, another great group in the Nashville area. Someday I’ll get there again!

Terry Timm

Another bloggy friend whom I met via the Q Conference (almost time! Yay!), Terry has just unveiled his brand new website. Terry’s heart is in worship and in mentoring. I love his site, which was developed by another blogworld friend and member of Terry’s tribe, Dianne Palome.

Heather Vataha

Because I love to brag about my family once in awhile, go check out my niece Heather’s blog on life in her little family!

That’s about all I have time for today. I’ve been so sad to learn that Jillian’s boyfriend’s step-dad (did you follow that?) passed away from cancer yesterday. I was watching this video yesterday and praying over their family and mine. I thought I would post the link…maybe it will minister to your heart like it did mine (Thank you, Cheryl Shank, for sending me there!)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk8horRi3_E

Journeys involve twists and turns, don’t they?

This journey to study happiness is no exception! One book leads to another (thank you Amazon recommendations!), one sermon meshes with one book and suddenly you are thinking new thoughts. I love how God literally orchestrates those connections. He sculpts your experiences to build into you — into me — just what he wants you to know, just who he wants you to be.

Not every twist or turn is a welcome one. Life is like that.Today is one of those days when I’m glimpsing a few twists I wasn’t counting on. But I’m OK with that. God reached deep inside me and let me know that I am His. He knows me. He called me into being, and He has a plan for me. And that, my friends, is why we can choose to be happy.

Even in the twists.

I found this video today. It spoke to me about how God knows. us. What a joy to be fully known…and loved anyway!

God’s Photo from Granger Community on Vimeo.

I’ve noticed a spike in traffic to my book review of Radical, by David Platt. This makes me unbelievably happy, because it means that somewhere there are folks out there who are just discovering the journey to being a radical Christian, a Christian whose life is sold out for the kingdom.

So for those of you I thought it would be interesting to look back on my year post-Radical (the book, not the concept!) and see whether or not the book actually did impact my life like I thought it would. Here were David Platt’s goals for the one year challenge:

I know it is kind of skipping ahead, but do you want to hear the one year challenge?

1. Pray for the entire world.
2. Read through the entire Bible in one year.
3. Sacrifice your money for a specific purpose.
4. Spend your time in another context.
5. Commit your life to multiplying community.

I looked at that list last year and quaked. I look at that list this year and quake. But not quite as much. So in the spirit of utter transparency, here’s how my year went in light of the one year challenge.

1. Pray for the entire world. I’m tempted to say, “Yes, of course I did. Lord, heal the entire world.” But the kind of country by country praying that David Platt encourages fell by the wayside after about two weeks. Which, not coincidentally, is about the length of time most New Year’s resolutions last. What did remain for me, however, was a focus of praying for the countries with which I came in contact. When a piece of news hit the broadcasts, I would go to the Operation World website to read about that country’s challenges and pray for them. A friend has left to travel the world fighting human trafficking, and every country she goes to also gets researched. So bottom line on challenge number 1? I’d give myself a solid B-.
2. Read the Bible through in one year. This challenge alone has changed my life. I found a daily reading plan online that separates the Bible into genre types (wisdom literature, history, prophecy, gospels etc.). Every day you read a different type of genre. By following the plan for a year I have, indeed, read the Bible in a year and am onto my next year. Now there may be a few dropped days, but most of the time I made those up. The day you read the Psalms is usually pretty light, so I used it for makeup days. Part way through through the year I began reading with my journal open and my ears more open than ever before. Transformational. Now, this reading is the first thing I do when I flop into my soft chair at Starbucks. In a way, God, is my morning coffee date! Bottom line on this one? A+.
3. Sacrifice your money for a specific purpose. Sacrifice? Yes, we’ve intentionally denied ourselves some of what we would have previously spent, and have chosen to use it for kingdom purposes. But after a year, I can’t call it sacrifice anymore. It’s an amazing privilege. We have not narrowed our giving to a specific purpose, though I notice “themes” in our giving choices. There have been some other really cool decisions in light of radical generosity in our lives, too, but I’m not going to discuss them here. Bottom line? An A, but I have a huge desire for extra credit!
4. Spend your time in another context. Nope. Failed. Some of my family succeeded in this one, but not me. With this one exception: I did choose to get out of my contexts in my own culture around town at times. Still, not enough. This needs to be a goal for next year. The best I can say is that Radical opened my eyes to my ethnocentricity (big word!) and to the fact that I have NOT gotten out of my home context in a very long time. Maybe that’s progress, but I still give myself an F.
5. Commit your life to multiplying community. Multiplying community IS my life. It’s what I love to do. Over the course of the year David and I have noticed that one of our strengths seems to be connecting people, whether it’s across church campuses, across the community, our across the country. I expect to see more of that in the years to come as we personally transition from one phase of life to another. Bottom line? Let’s say a B+.

So how is that? There’s so much more that I would like to do, so many ways I let myself down this year. But many of those action points can be directly traced back to reading Radical. For one book (among so many that I read day in and day out!) to actually effect a change in my day to day habits is a stunning achievement. Even in the areas I’ve not done as well as I might, there is an awareness of a still, small voice reminding me that there is more to life than my day to day concerns.

Getting ready to read Radical? Go for it! Even the smallest changes you make in your Christian life will push you toward being a Radical. But there’s a warning: you will never shop the same, eat the same, read the same, watch tv the same, or even travel the same. Be ready for the adventure!

Now as far as national holidays go, I realize Groundhog Day may not rank at the top of your list. But it’s pretty close to the top of mine!

It all started, of course, with the movie, Groundhog Day, starring Andie MacDowell and Bill Murray. Poor Bill Murray is stuck in a loop of an endlessly repeating day, a day which he gets to relive in almost any way you can imagine. Some days he makes creative use of his time (ice sculptures, reading French poetry, learning the piano). Other days he rescues people who have the misfortune of getting hurt or dying on Groundhog Day. In one memorable sequence, he commits suicide in any way he can think of. Each morning, waking up again to good old Sonny and Cher singing Babe.

It’s your basic movie that some people love and others can’t stand.

But that’s not why I love Groundhog Day, it’s just the start.

Because Groundhog Day started and symbolized something amazing. You see, when we were first married we became friends with Danny and Kim Butler, 25 years ago. They were another young couple just starting out in the church we attended back then, and we began to do life together. Year by year, kid by kid we have piled up memories together. Some of the memories have been unbearably sad, like the night we were out to dinner and interrupted by my father-in-law telling me that my brother had just been killed by a drunk driver. Some memories are whimsical, such as the way their daughter Jessi could literally shimmy up a person and wind up in your arms before you knew she was even there. Some memories make us belly laugh, like the night Jessi and Kylie “cleaned” Jillian’s room for her so she could sleep in her new crib (at the age of two or three days old) by sprinkling her room with Comet.

In the same year that Kylie and Jessi baptized Jillian’s room and floor in Comet, we discovered Groundhog Day, the movie. And lo and behold, we all had the quirky sense of humor required to watch that one day over and over again. Our other friends did not share our delight. So each year the Butlers would pack up their teeny kids, we would pop a Sillyville video in the kid’s room, and then we adults would watch Groundhog Day as near to February 2 as possible.

We’ve missed some years due to schedules. We’ve reached milestones where our kids were allowed to join us for the “Grownups” movie. We’ve even reached milestones where our kids laugh at us for Groundhog Day, schedule an alternate date, and head out the door.

Now you should know me by now. This post isn’t really about Groundhog Day at all. It’s about how incredibly blessed and thankful I am, year by year, to know that I have friends doing life with me. When days of mourning come, they are there. When days of celebration come, they know what flavor of ice cream to bring. They KNOW us.

I know that the Butlers — and a select handful of other friends — would be the first to ring our doorbell or barge in the house if David or I needed confrontation in any area of our lives. Should we step out from under the umbrella of God’s protection, we’d face their wrath. I also know that they would lay down their lives to bring us back into fellowship with God and with the family of God. I know this. I trust this.

Do you have friends like that? Are you willing to live your life in such radical, open transparency that words aren’t even necessary?

I hope the answer is yes. Because friends like Danny and Kim can make a holiday like Groundhog Day into a holy-day of knowing that life in the kingdom is meant to be lived with each other. In community. Together.

So…It’s Groundhog Day!!!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUi1PdYn5nk

I only have a few minutes today, but wanted to write about something that’s been on my mind.

It’s that whole happiness theme.

Let’s be honest: in Christian circles, happiness is the little step-sister to the more applauded Joy, Peace, Contentment. Even Jesus cautioned us that in this world we WILL have trouble. And trouble we have! Which makes joy (defined as that well-being that doesn’t leave in spite of circumstances), peace and contentment so much more necessary than silly little happiness.

Happiness can feel like a name-it-and-claim-it cousin who just wants to put on a smile regardless. “Why yes, my dog died yesterday. But I’m still happy!”

But not so fast.

The fact is, God expects that the natural state of his children will be happiness on some level. Remember that whole “A cheerful heart does good, like medicine?” When he asks us to think about the lovely things, the beautiful things, is that not an invitation to rest our spirits in him and…be happy?

Zig Ziglar said once that “a positive attitude will never get you anything. But it will get you a whole lot more than a negative one.”

I am the church. So are you. We’re the incarnational representatives of Christ, right here, right now. I think that makes choosing to be happy the wise thing to do. Do we deny our other emotions? Of course not! But in the end, we return to our sense of completeness in him. It is a completeness that allows us to be happy in spite of and sometimes even because of our circumstances.

I choose to be happy.

You?

Happiness is still a choice.

That’s the message I got today while reading “The Happiness Advantage” by Shaun Achor. In any adverse event, there are people who will react poorly — becoming helpless and hopeless quickly — and there are people who will react well — finding creative and unique ways to manage their situation. This is documented and named. It is called Post-Traumatic Growth Syndrome.

You’ve probably heard about this syndrome. It’s the person who survives the 9/11 crashes and turns to God, changing the path of their life. It’s the financial executive who uses the economic pull-back to reconnect with his family, develop stronger relationships with his clients, and come out the other side stronger. It’s your neighbor fighting cancer who tells you “I’ve never appreciated how beautiful my life is until now.”

Tal Ben-Shahar, one of the leading researchers in the happiness field, says it well: “things do not necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best out of things that happen.” God phrased it somewhat differently in Romans, when he reminds us that “All things work together for good.”

It turns out that failure, likewise, is a great predictor of success. Watch how a person responds to failure and you will know their character and you will know if they have the psychological flexibility to triumph regardless of the circumstances. A crisis — no matter how large or small — can be a catalyst for your creativity.

Reading this today, here are some of the ways I’ve resolved to react to “failures” in my life:

• Tell myself the truth. After a failure it’s easy to overemphasize the importance of the event in our minds. Consciously choose to look at the event differently and literally tell yourself a different story about it. God does this for us by redeeming our past experiences so we can help others navigate the same waters. Failure becomes an opportunity.
• Remember what my grandmother said: “This too shall pass.” I got tired of hearing it in the wake of a boyfriend break-up or a party invite that never came, but it was true then and it is true now. These setbacks are temporary, and we were made for eternity. We are bigger than these circumstances right now.
• Never waste a crisis. This applies to me as well as others. In a moment of crisis we are open to God’s voice as well as the wise counsel of others. If it’s your own event, sit down with a journal and listen to what God’s trying to say to you.Write it down.Highlight it. Underline it. Internalize the message God’s sending you. If it is another’s crisis, offer to pray with them and do it…right there, right then. Be sparing in your advice and lavish in your love. And the best advice is the word of God. Turn them back to the source of wisdom.
• Engineer a success. It’s easy to overgeneralize when we have experienced a failure in one area, and assume that we will fail in all areas. To counteract this, arrange a success. Even something as simple as baking a great dessert and inviting the neighbors over — knowing they will be happy to remind you of your baking prowess! — can change your mental state.

What about you? Any other ideas for me on how to grow in the middle of a crisis point?

I’ve been using Hoot Suite to post twitters and to follow my social media lately. I love that program! I love to browse freely across my twitter peeps, reading their blogs and connecting with people all over the world.

I love being able to write a blog post, post the link, and then repost it later at a better time. Did you know the average Twitter stream only lasts ten minutes? So Hoot Suite lets me repost links to my blog posts without being tied ot my computer.

So I was feeling pretty good about myself and my new relationship with Hoot Suite.

Until I discovered Klout.

Klout is some rating used by Hoot Suite that measures… well I don’t know what it measures. I presume it measures your standing and your “clout” on Twitter? It’s kind of the credit-rating score of social media. In any case, all-wise Hoot Suite has determined my Klout number.

Immediately I had to see everyone else’s Klout number.

Shoot! I don’t understand why that person’s Klout is higher than mine…they have fewer followers! They don’t even twitter ABOUT anything! How can this be? OK, that person I understand: they are a pastor and have thousands of followers. But her? him? Why not me?

In a matter of seconds my self-esteem plummeted and I was ready to sign off Twitter. Why? Because some unknown conglomeration of numbers judged me and found me wanting. My Klout stinks. Comparatively. Of course there are those with no Klout, but we don’t consider those, right?

Oh it’s vicious, isn’t it? The game of comparing ourselves to others? It sneaks up in a heartbeat. I don’t even have an idea what Klout really is!

Guess what? God gives you (and me) totally different scores. In God’s kingdom, the first are last and the last are first. In God’s kingdom, the children get it and the leaders don’t. In God’s kingdom, the power of one person can sometimes outweigh all the Klout of another. In God’s kingdom, it’s all his Klout anyway!

I’m laughing at myself now, pleased that I saw through another attempt of the world to judge me and make me strive for nothingness.

Auddrie protecting her stash from Toby!

Jillian’s little dog Auddrie entertains us constantly with her quirks. Somehow she manages to take after her mommy, reinforcing the “Dogs are like their owners” stereotype. Which means — considering my dog, Toby —  that your ankles are not safe around me!

One of Auddrie’s quirks is that she loves to gather things and pile them around her. She chose a spot in our living room as her designated stash. It’s kind of a random spot, in the middle of the floor and not protected or cozy. As a stashing spot, it kind of stinks. But to this spot she will drag anything of importance or intriguing to her little doggy mind. The picture above is just a random shot of today’s stash. At any given moment it could include dishtowels, underwear, dog toys or makeup! And when she’s gathered the day’s loot, Auddrie flops down in the middle of it all and waits for the next big event.

I’m feeling a little like Auddrie lately. I realized that I often want to gather all my random bits of “stuff” around me. I want to survey it all, then flop down and wait for God to do something interesting. “OK, Lord, this is what I can do for you. This is what I’ve gathered. Now show me.”

Funny thing is, God doesn’t seem to want to work that way!

Just like I can look at Auddrie’s stash and know that the doggy bone might be of value to her but she is never going to use the makeup appropriately (she has no style!), so God looks down at our collection of treasures and knows that some of them need to be removed from the stash. None of them, in fact, will get us anywhere. God really just wants us to say “Here I am. Just a puppy made for your pleasure. Let’s go!”

While it may not seem like it, this little post is related to my Happiness posts. It’s taken me awhile, but I’ve figured out that most of my stash adds nothing to my happiness or my choices that lead to the deeper connections and joys of this crazy life. In fact, collecting and guarding the stash takes so much energy that I don’t feel like playing very much at all.

I’m letting my stash of treasures go. It’s easier to travel the world that way!