Coffee Shop Journal

What do you want people to say about you?

This is Miles Strodel. He is the father of my best friend since kindergarten (or third grade if you ask her), Donna Strodel Aldridge. Miles was like a second father to me, and the legacy he left behind when he passed away June 27th will live in my heart forever. Today, I heard people describe him at his memorial service: joyful, full of integrity, an environmentalist before there was such a thing, crazy, a coach, a father. All of these words rang so true to me. Perhaps my pastor of my youth, Gordon MacDonald, summed it up best. Miles’ life FIT. It all fit together. Whether you knew him as a coach, a camper, a father, a school headmaster, he was the same man. He lived with principles and integrity, and he lived a clean life. The pieces of his life…FIT.

That’s what I want people to say about me. I want to be known as a woman who was on a consistent race to show God’s kingdom. I don’t want there to be any hidden corners where light can’t shine, or inconsistencies in words or actions. It’s a tall order, but really is there any other way to live? I saw a legacy today. I saw how one man, living his own life consistently and with integrity, can change the world.

What do you want people to say about you?

As an aside, I also got to spend time today with some of my oldest and dearest friends. OK…no, we aren’t OLD. But these friends are so dear. As one of my high school buddies, Dick, said, it seems like no time has gone by at all. We have all shared the bond of growing through this world with faith in the ultimate outcome and joy in the journey. We were able to walk into our old church and pick up as if this crazy life in between had never happened. And we all agreed: that’s what Heaven will be like! What an amazing plan.

I know this is a little tacky sounding, but I learned something about life on a jet-ski today. We’ve been playing with two waverunners on the lake, taking turns flying around the islands and negotiating boat wakes. I enjoy driving them, but I’m having a hard time learning to be a passenger. This afternoon we set out from our dock with me riding on the back of David’s waverunner. For the first 15 minutes I squealed at every wave and gripped the seat as tightly as I could. Fresh in my memory was my ride from a few days ago, when I snapped one of my nails off I was gripping so tightly. For you guys out there who may not know, that’s a painful experience.

After awhile, in the normal course of time, my muscles got tired of gripping so tightly and I just gave up. I stopped fighting every wave, and just sat there. To my surprise, I didn’t fall off the back. In fact, I discovered that I stayed on equally as well if I had the seat in a death grip or if I was wiping water out of my eyes and not holding on at all. I realized that I just needed to stay on the waverunner long enough to trust the machine and its driver. After that the ride was pure adventure and fun.

So isn’t that kind of like life? This faith journey that we are all on is very similar to hanging on to the back of a waverunner on the middle of an unknown lake. Intellectually we know that God is in control and we are not going to fall off. We know that we are called to impact this world, and that if he calls us we can trust him. But the waves of life look awfully big even so. I think the secret might be to hang on. Step out in faith on the first part of the journey and hang on. Wait until your “muscles” tire out, and you trust God because that’s all you can do anyway. Once you’ve developed your ability to trust, the waves are irrelevant.

Out in the middle of the lake today I realized that I need to stop wondering what the whole journey is going to look like. It’s not my call to make, it’s God’s. I just want to let go a little bit and see if the ride is as thrilling as I think.

I found this video on YouTube today, and thought it was really well done. The makers have managed to convey the essence of being with our community as a way of showing that the kingdom of God really is here. For those of you who know me, one caveat: the beginning of the film shows the subject disenchanted with his apparently boring and clueless church. I’m not there. I don’t think living out the kingdom needs to be an either/or situation. I love my church, the people there, the ministries that we have and the way my church touches the community differently than an individual or a small group can. But with that one exception, this is an amazing short film with a great message. I really love things that use the metaphor of “The Table” as a symbol of community. Enjoy!

It’s the dishtowels that have pushed me over the edge.

You see, I just finished reading Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson. Reading is such a dangerous activity! This fiction book is an excellent companion to Lisa and Will Samson’s book “Justice in the ‘Burbs.” It is a fictional playing-out of the principles found in Justice. If I were to summarize the principles off the top of my head they would boil down to these:

• As Christians we need to carefully evaluate our lifestyle. We need to do this frequently and repeatedly. The world is full of “big” things to do:should we let the “little”things sidetrack us? Look at your possessions, your activities, your living arrangements. Are they in line with what God has for you?
• Monitor your activities through the lens of God’s kingdom. Activities that used to have a purpose may now be nothing more than busy work, keeping us from the kingdom work.
• Look at where you are doing your work. Are you only interacting with other Christians? Do the issues of justice and social concerns ever hit your radar screen? If not, you may need to ask God where he is at work, and join him there.
• Keep your worship fresh. Make sure you are connecting to God in a variety of ways, including taking time to hear his voice and respond. Perhaps you might want to worship in a different church every so often to obtain a fresh perspective (if only thankfulness for your own church!).

I am sure that others reading these two books would take away different points, but these were the ones God was pointing out to me. Now combine these thoughts with The Tangible Kingdom, which I am currently reading. The Tangible Kingdom is teaching me to let go of some of the belongings, activities and people of the past in order to effectively serve God in the present.

And so we come to the dishtowels.

I have so many!!! I have them in all colors, textures and sizes. Some are neatly stored in my drawer, some are constantly on the counter. Some are in the wash. All of them need to be maintained: wash, dry, fold, use, repeat. I could divest myself of half my dishtowels and still have too many.

Lately my life feels like the dishtowel drawer.

We had a great, sweet family wedding this weekend. We did all the normal festivities: rehearsals and dinners, weddings and receptions. Around our table we remarked that weddings are one of the few places where you are almost always guaranteed NOT to know a good share of the crowd. Tradition even dictates a separation: “Bride’s side or groom’s side?” Often — as in the case of my niece and her new husband — the groom is an out-of-towner, and the bride’s side spills over onto his side. Represented tonight were a multitude of churches, several extended families and random college students making the pilgrimage we all remember so well in those first post-graduation years.

In the midst of all this diversity, I’ve noticed a shorthand develop for pigeon-holing each other. It goes something like this: find out what church the other person attends and determine what “brand” of church it is. For some reason, we aren’t comfortable with each other until we find a way to label each other. It used to be just churched or unchurched, but now the church label is so broad, we have to define it further. I’ve noticed myself falling into this pattern, as well, and I’ve got a pretty good system for pigeon-holing: find out what authors the other person reads. I guess in my mind I’ve got a continuum of authors, some of whom I’m comfortable with, and some of whom I’m not. Some of them I consider passe (yes, I’m being totally transparent here…please forgive me!). Some of them are unfamiliar, and this always results in a trip to Amazon. By the time this short conversation is through, I usually have a pretty good idea where the other person is coming from, and feel comfortable in the conversation.

Here’s my question: is this a good practice or a bad one? Why do I feel like I have to have a label attached to a person before I can evaluate their viewpoints?  And goodness: what if I run across a widely read person who refuses to be pigeon-holed? What do I do then? This weekend my system was a good one. The groom’s mother and father are missional church-planters in the Washington, DC area, and we were able to quickly connect and speak a common “language” in the short time we had to chat.  But deep inside I know that I am guilty of elevating or dismissing people too quickly based on their labels. Sometimes I miss important conversations because I’ve already decided in my mind where this person is coming from and what they are likely to say. I don’t like this trait in myself, and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like it in other people talking to me, either. Maybe, like new T-shirts these days, it’s time to go label-free.

I’ve been listening to the Robbie Seay Band a lot lately. Today the song Rise is really causing me to stop and be thankful for this crazy life I lead. “People of Love, Rise, Give yourself away.” Can I tell you how much I want that to be the anthem of my life? And must I also tell you how far from that target I am?

There has been a synchroblog going on around the topic “What is Missional?” I heard about it on my friend Duncan’s site, What’s Your Point, Caller? Since I don’t really know the answer to that, I didn’t want to jump in the discussion. I want to sit at the feet of others and learn, during this period of my life. But this I do know: we are called to BE where we are. And it is on this simple point that I get hung up. I want to BE somewhere else, with different people in my sphere of influence. I want to live in my walkable, livable town square with several coffee shops and people who are friendly but not so well-off that they don’t want to be seekers of His Way with me. I have it pictured in my mind, but it doesn’t exist.

What does exist is South Florida 80% of the time with quick junkets here (Massachusetts) and there (all the other places I wander.). What exists is my aging, alzheimer’s-diagnosed mother who gets scared and needs to remember that she is special, even if she is fighting me tooth and nail. What exists are my children, trying to grow their wings in sizes and shapes I’d never have imagined. What exists is the church I love, a slightly-accidental mega-church in the middle of suburbs so affluent they aren’t searching for much. What exists is a transient community swirling around the sun and sand, rarely interacting with each other. What exists is a calling to BE…right here. To me, that is being missional. Trying with each breath of each day to be the hands and feet of God in this community, even while I’m trying to reach out through this blog to a larger community.

There’s another Robbie Seay song that kind of captures how I’m feeling right now. Read these lyrics then head to their site to hear the song. It’s called “New Day.”

I'm gonna sing this song
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you're like me
You need hope, coffee, and melody
So sit back down
Let the world keep spinning ‘round
For yesterday's gone and today is waiting on you to show your face

It might not be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
But it’s a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day
And it might not look like
A beautiful sunrise
But it's a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day

I’m a pilgrim soul
I've traveled far and come back home
This land is hard and cold
For those who long to love
And I know it might seem
That the world is crumbling
But it’s me and you dancing in the kitchen at 2 am
And we're still alive

It’s the calm of the storm that comes blowing in
It’s the springtime saying I'm back again
The clouds that roll by
Crossing moonlight
Me and you love – everything's alright
Standing in the rain with nowhere to go
Laughing and we're spinning and I hope that you
Remember this day
For the rest of your life
Me and you love – everything’s gonna be alright

And it just might be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
It’s a new day
Oh baby, it’s a new day
If you look outside

To see a beautiful sunrise

It’s a new day

I know it is kind of pointless to post about something after the Blog King, Carlos Whittaker, posts about it. But on the off-chance that there are a few of you out there who do not read Carlos’ blog, I’m going to pass on an interesting find. Carlos tells the story of his friends Steve and Danae, and the adoption of their Ethiopian daughter. In the process of adopting their little Eva, Steve and Danae found their lives changed by the conditions they saw in Ethiopia. They started a coffee company to raise money for work in Ethiopia. 100% of the profits are invested back in the work. On the Gobena site you can see an orphanage that is being built. Anyway, watch their trip to Ethiopia, and then head over to Gobena Coffee like I did and buy some coffee. You can read more of their story on the Gobena Coffee site and on Ragamuffin Soul.

Ed Bahler wrote the blog post of the day for me. He said so many things I would like to say, too. Go check it out.

David and I have become close friends with Buddy Hoffman, the pastor of Grace Fellowship Church in Snellville, Georgia. Over the years Buddy has taught us many amazing lessons. His sermon from Sunday, June 1 on the spiritual disciplines of being a Christ Follower was amazing. Here are a few points that stuck out for me.

• We think of the spiritual disciplines as fasting, praying, reading the scripture. And they are. But Christ also demonstrated other disciplines for us.
• Christ was known for “associating with sinners.” That old phrase from our youth usually implied something bad about the person doing the associating, but Buddy reminded us that hanging out with the sinners is what Christ DID. Hanging out is a spiritual discipline.
• If we don’t hang out with people whose lifestyle we don’t necessarily agree with, we aren’t following the disciplines of Christ.
• The words used to describe the time Jesus spent with the “sinners” were the words we would associate with hanging out, relaxing, doing life. These weren’t formal dinners.
• Who are the people we need to be doing life with? Your neighbor Ed may have vowed to never step foot in a church again, but he probably hasn’t vowed never to eat a hamburger again. Do life with Ed.
• Another spiritual discipline is embracing life. Like a platter of ripe, perfect fruit or the finest chocolate, Jesus has spread life out in front of his children for us to enjoy. Christians need to dive in head-first into life, and model enjoying the gifts lavished on us.

Buddy’s Kingdom Series, which he has been preaching for most of the year, is worth listening to. You can find the link to the podcasts here if you are interested.

Pete Wilson, lead pastor at Cross Point where my friend Jenni is the executive pastor, wrote an amazing blog recently about why he bothers to blog. Now, I don’t have nearly the readership that Pete does, and I’m not a pastor by any means. But he captures some of the spirit of why I keep writing Coffee Shop Journal. (Besides the fact that I’m addicted and somehow I have to!) Go read Pete’s blog. It inspires me.