I’ve seen God do some amazing things in the past few weeks. Perhaps my favorite is God’s total transformation of our friend Bob. Bob was addicted to pain pills and alcohol for 15 years at least — the growing-up years of his two precious daughters. The girls gave up on the idea of ever having their own earthly father in the way they needed and deserved. And God, the father of the fatherless, stepped in to help fill that need.
But there were holes left behind. Only Bob could fulfill his God-given purpose.
A few weeks ago Bob hit the bottom, and ended up in places he never imagined. They were not pretty places, but they were where he needed to be.
God sent John to Bob. John wasn’t afraid of those places. In fact, he revels in meeting the broken-hearted, like Bob. And through John, Bob saw God. We nearly keeled over in shock recently when we encountered Bob hanging around the lobby after church, clear-eyed and delighting in life out in the world again.
“What are you doing here, Bob?”
“Oh, John and I have a connection. He came when I was pretty low. What a great day! I haven’t been able to think this clearly for 15 years!”
I watched Bob’s daughter get a hug from her daddy and I wanted to weep. It was so good! And it’s just a whisper of what God is doing all around us. Just a whisper! If only we could hear the thunder!
I know that Bob has quite a journey ahead of him, and he may slide back a few times before he gets it straight. But I also know that God is after his heart, and won’t stop until he has it. I can trust God.
As we were leaving, Bob casually mentioned that he’d signed up to be baptized. It was a perfectly normal, logical decision for Bob. For the rest of us it was a miracle.
Some of the details will have to wait for another post, but I was so privileged to go and tour a completed and running safe house for girls rescued from trafficking. It is the only Christian safe house in the state of Florida. And while I was humbled at the dedication it takes to run the house, I was also overwhelmed by its simplicity.
You see, this wasn’t a huge home. It was pretty average. And they didn’t have ten and twenty girls. They had two, with room for five. And these two houseparents were not specialists trained for trafficking. They were parents who answered the call to love on two girls in a radical, unconditional way. The overwhelming part was this: it was all so doable.
And yet there is only one Christian safe house in the state of Florida.
This has got to change, and you and I are the ones who have to change it.
Later in the weekend David and I were at a weekend retreat sponsored by the Luis Palau Association. If you don’t know who Luis Palau is, click this link or google his name. We heard so much over the course of the weekend that confirmed what God was saying. This is our job to do, and so we need to prepare.
Luis was speaking on Abraham and his willingness to sacrifice Isaac, his son. True worship, he said, involves sacrifice. We are called into the world to tell others that Jesus loves them more than they could imagine, more than they’ve been told. He loves them so much, that nothing they have done could keep him from heaping even more love on top of them. He loves.
But for someone to hear that message, others must sacrifice. As Luis said, “Someone must pay the price. Someone must sacrifice to do the work.”
My mind flashed to the safe house.
I don’t know what it is going to look like yet, but that someone is me. That someone is you. These girls need a place to heal and be restored.
It slips my mind, sometimes, that someone reading my posts may not know where they are written. With very few exceptions, most of my writing is done in Starbucks. If I didn’t write the actual post there, I at least scribbled notes to remind me later of the direction I’m going to take.
I don’t know all the reasons why Starbucks is my choice, but one of them is because it simply isn’t HOME. I can come here and focus, be myself, daydream and create. At home, well there’s laundry to be done, a new magazine in the mail, roaming dogs who terrorize me at every opportunity. The stuff of life. I connect with myself better — sometimes — when I’m not so surrounded by myself.
The other day I listened to two guys do the same at Starbucks. One was a regular, Dan, and I never caught the other’s name. Let’s call him Fred. These two guys began jabbering, and when I got up to go, literally two hours later, they were still jabbering. In the course of the hours they covered politics (conservative, but Dan has a liberal bent that inclines him to social justice), chiropractic (Fred is a chiropractor, and was convincing Dan — accurately in my humble opinion! — that chiropractic care could help him recover from his recent shoulder surgery), the military (both served, one flew planes, the other loved them). They covered their families, their work habits, their Starbucks drinks. They circled back around to why character and integrity matter in politics more than party affiliation, though each were registered Republicans. In short, they connected.
It was a life group in action. What do you call it at your church? At ours, during various moments, they have been life groups, journey groups, small groups, affinity groups. Whatever your definition, these two men joined a small group.
But let me ask you this question: when was the last time you saw two men begin with a passing nod acquaintance and end up with an intimacy and a feeling of belonging to the same tribe over the course of two hours?
That’s the genius of living life out in the community, in third places, shoulder to shoulder with your neighbors and strangers. Alan Hirsch, in his new book RIght Here Right now, says that “We have to be able to speak meaningfully into a culture, but in order to do that, we have to seriously examine a given culture for clues to what God is doing among a people….what is good new for THIS people?” My friend Dan was doing that. He was listening to Fred and conversing with him where he was at, the conversation meandering. And because it took place in this third place, others were welcome to join in or not. Some did, interacting as long as time and circumstances allowed. Others didn’t, living their own lives.
Either way, small group was had here in Starbucks, and a whole bunch of us got to join in.
I’m making the choice to go for community wherever possible. After all, I’m, pretty sure that’s where Jesus hung out. I just wonder if he’d have picked MY Starbucks!
I need a little lightheartedness today. It’s been a very long time since I’ve shared some of my favorite links, so let’s do a little link love today!
Plywood People
I love this website, spearheaded by Jeff Shinabarger one of my favorite kingdom entrepreneurs. I quick browse through his site will tell you why. Anyway, the other day he posted this online book for us to read. The gist of the book is very John Maxwellian: don’t just sit there, DO. While you read this book (honestly, it’s a picture book and only takes five minutes…DO it), pay attention to the way new media and new presentations are getting books and info out into the public. This little book was mindblowing from that standpoint.
Sami attended Christ Fellowship with us for many years. We sat in the same front section every Saturday night, and I was sad when she moved to Nashville. But then I found out she was attending Crosspoint church, pastored by Pete Wilson and directed by my first-ever bloggy friend Jenni Catron, so that made it easier. Anyway, check out her fabulous site that mentors you in the art of intentional family living, including saving amazing amounts of money so you can stay home with your kiddos! Sami is a member of Cultivate Her, another great group in the Nashville area. Someday I’ll get there again!
Another bloggy friend whom I met via the Q Conference (almost time! Yay!), Terry has just unveiled his brand new website. Terry’s heart is in worship and in mentoring. I love his site, which was developed by another blogworld friend and member of Terry’s tribe, Dianne Palome.
Because I love to brag about my family once in awhile, go check out my niece Heather’s blog on life in her little family!
That’s about all I have time for today. I’ve been so sad to learn that Jillian’s boyfriend’s step-dad (did you follow that?) passed away from cancer yesterday. I was watching this video yesterday and praying over their family and mine. I thought I would post the link…maybe it will minister to your heart like it did mine (Thank you, Cheryl Shank, for sending me there!)
This journey to study happiness is no exception! One book leads to another (thank you Amazon recommendations!), one sermon meshes with one book and suddenly you are thinking new thoughts. I love how God literally orchestrates those connections. He sculpts your experiences to build into you — into me — just what he wants you to know, just who he wants you to be.
Not every twist or turn is a welcome one. Life is like that.Today is one of those days when I’m glimpsing a few twists I wasn’t counting on. But I’m OK with that. God reached deep inside me and let me know that I am His. He knows me. He called me into being, and He has a plan for me. And that, my friends, is why we can choose to be happy.
Even in the twists.
I found this video today. It spoke to me about how God knows. us. What a joy to be fully known…and loved anyway!
I’ve noticed a spike in traffic to my book review of Radical, by David Platt. This makes me unbelievably happy, because it means that somewhere there are folks out there who are just discovering the journey to being a radical Christian, a Christian whose life is sold out for the kingdom.
So for those of you I thought it would be interesting to look back on my year post-Radical (the book, not the concept!) and see whether or not the book actually did impact my life like I thought it would. Here were David Platt’s goals for the one year challenge:
I know it is kind of skipping ahead, but do you want to hear the one year challenge?
Pray for the entire world.
Read through the entire Bible in one year.
Sacrifice your money for a specific purpose.
Spend your time in another context.
Commit your life to multiplying community.
I looked at that list last year and quaked. I look at that list this year and quake. But not quite as much. So in the spirit of utter transparency, here’s how my year went in light of the one year challenge.
Pray for the entire world. I’m tempted to say, “Yes, of course I did. Lord, heal the entire world.” But the kind of country by country praying that David Platt encourages fell by the wayside after about two weeks. Which, not coincidentally, is about the length of time most New Year’s resolutions last. What did remain for me, however, was a focus of praying for the countries with which I came in contact. When a piece of news hit the broadcasts, I would go to the Operation World website to read about that country’s challenges and pray for them. A friend has left to travel the world fighting human trafficking, and every country she goes to also gets researched. So bottom line on challenge number 1? I’d give myself a solid B-.
Read the Bible through in one year. This challenge alone has changed my life. I found a daily reading plan online that separates the Bible into genre types (wisdom literature, history, prophecy, gospels etc.). Every day you read a different type of genre. By following the plan for a year I have, indeed, read the Bible in a year and am onto my next year. Now there may be a few dropped days, but most of the time I made those up. The day you read the Psalms is usually pretty light, so I used it for makeup days. Part way through through the year I began reading with my journal open and my ears more open than ever before. Transformational. Now, this reading is the first thing I do when I flop into my soft chair at Starbucks. In a way, God, is my morning coffee date! Bottom line on this one? A+.
Sacrifice your money for a specific purpose. Sacrifice? Yes, we’ve intentionally denied ourselves some of what we would have previously spent, and have chosen to use it for kingdom purposes. But after a year, I can’t call it sacrifice anymore. It’s an amazing privilege. We have not narrowed our giving to a specific purpose, though I notice “themes” in our giving choices. There have been some other really cool decisions in light of radical generosity in our lives, too, but I’m not going to discuss them here. Bottom line? An A, but I have a huge desire for extra credit!
Spend your time in another context. Nope. Failed. Some of my family succeeded in this one, but not me. With this one exception: I did choose to get out of my contexts in my own culture around town at times. Still, not enough. This needs to be a goal for next year. The best I can say is that Radical opened my eyes to my ethnocentricity (big word!) and to the fact that I have NOT gotten out of my home context in a very long time. Maybe that’s progress, but I still give myself an F.
Commit your life to multiplying community. Multiplying community IS my life. It’s what I love to do. Over the course of the year David and I have noticed that one of our strengths seems to be connecting people, whether it’s across church campuses, across the community, our across the country. I expect to see more of that in the years to come as we personally transition from one phase of life to another. Bottom line? Let’s say a B+.
So how is that? There’s so much more that I would like to do, so many ways I let myself down this year. But many of those action points can be directly traced back to reading Radical. For one book (among so many that I read day in and day out!) to actually effect a change in my day to day habits is a stunning achievement. Even in the areas I’ve not done as well as I might, there is an awareness of a still, small voice reminding me that there is more to life than my day to day concerns.
Getting ready to read Radical? Go for it! Even the smallest changes you make in your Christian life will push you toward being a Radical. But there’s a warning: you will never shop the same, eat the same, read the same, watch tv the same, or even travel the same. Be ready for the adventure!
An embroidered throw -- like this one, but not this exact one -- is a reminder of my covenant to pray.
I think the Israelites would have conquered the Promised Land in half the time if they’d just skipped building stone pillars, memorials and altars all over the country. I honestly believe they were a nation of stone masons! I’m sure you’ve noticed it too: every few chapters they were building an altar to remember the lesson God had just taught them.
In Soulprint, by Mark Batterson, I’ve been reading about the concept of “lifesymbols.” Lifesymbols are symbols of the defining moments in our lives. Batterson describes an oxygen mask, one of his own lifesymbols. He keeps this oxygen mask, the one that was used when he almost lost his life in the hospital, but realized that God’s decision to save him meant God had a continuing plan for his life.
Our defining moments double as altars to God…Like David, we need holy keepsakes to remind us where we’ve been and where we’re headed….Without these physical reminders, we quickly forget the spiritual lessons we’ve learned along the way. I call those physical reminders “lifesymbols.”And they come in every every size and shape imaginable, including oxygen masks.”
I love the idea of lifesymbols, and realized that I’ve been collecting them myself without having a lovely name to call them until now. What are some of my lifesymbols?
I keep all my journals together on my bookshelf. Looking at them — even without reading them — reminds me of who I dreamed I would be when I was in seventh grade (my earliest journal), when I was waiting for my children, and last year, when I was realizing that I’d better decide who to be pretty quickly! Looking at your life lined up on a bookshelf is both humbling and inspiring.
Oregon postcards. One of the nicely framed pieces of art in my house is really just three post cards from Oregon. I love my family, and I have a large selection of precious friends and family who live in Oregon. Looking at that artwork reminds me to pray for them and reminds me of all the times they have spoken into my life. I have other frames filled with other places and other people, all of whom are important to us.
A handstitched throw on my living room couch comes from Jerusalem. It, along with a stone cross from the year 300, remind me of our trip to Israel last year. While we were there we covenanted to pray for something specific, one of those requests you write on a tiny slip of paper and cram into the Western Wall. Every time I see the throw, bought in the Jewish quarter at the corner of King David Street (Ah! To think such places exist!), I’m reminded of my covenant and of God’s promises to me. I pray.
Bibles from my grandparents — all four of them — well-used.
Strange momentos, such as my dad’s patient id card for Dana Farber Cancer institute (God was faithful to bring us through!), the birth certificate of the man my grandmother helped to raise (Our family reaches out to take in others), World of Coke 3-D glasses in my parka pocket (friendships are a gift of God, cross generational lines, and last forever even if we only see each other on Facebook).
Thinking back to soon-to-be-King David, he kept the armor of the giant Goliath. Every time he looked at that armor, prayer and praise had to rise up in his chest. When I look at my lifesymbols scattered here or there throughout my home, I’m reminded that God has always been working in and through my life. “I need to identify the story lines that the Author of my faith is scripting for me,” says Batterson. “Lifesymbols are like cue cards that help us remember His script.”
Batterson calls this kind of memory searching “memory management and stewardship.” God has placed these memories in me for a purpose. They are encoded in my brain and define who I am…for a purpose.
“Life is lived forward, but it is relived backward. Part of discovering your soulprint is seeing the purposes of God in your past experiences. The past is not circumstantial. The past is providential.”
What about your lifesymbols? What are they? What do they say about your “story line?”
Now as far as national holidays go, I realize Groundhog Day may not rank at the top of your list. But it’s pretty close to the top of mine!
It all started, of course, with the movie, Groundhog Day, starring Andie MacDowell and Bill Murray. Poor Bill Murray is stuck in a loop of an endlessly repeating day, a day which he gets to relive in almost any way you can imagine. Some days he makes creative use of his time (ice sculptures, reading French poetry, learning the piano). Other days he rescues people who have the misfortune of getting hurt or dying on Groundhog Day. In one memorable sequence, he commits suicide in any way he can think of. Each morning, waking up again to good old Sonny and Cher singing Babe.
It’s your basic movie that some people love and others can’t stand.
But that’s not why I love Groundhog Day, it’s just the start.
Because Groundhog Day started and symbolized something amazing. You see, when we were first married we became friends with Danny and Kim Butler, 25 years ago. They were another young couple just starting out in the church we attended back then, and we began to do life together. Year by year, kid by kid we have piled up memories together. Some of the memories have been unbearably sad, like the night we were out to dinner and interrupted by my father-in-law telling me that my brother had just been killed by a drunk driver. Some memories are whimsical, such as the way their daughter Jessi could literally shimmy up a person and wind up in your arms before you knew she was even there. Some memories make us belly laugh, like the night Jessi and Kylie “cleaned” Jillian’s room for her so she could sleep in her new crib (at the age of two or three days old) by sprinkling her room with Comet.
In the same year that Kylie and Jessi baptized Jillian’s room and floor in Comet, we discovered Groundhog Day, the movie. And lo and behold, we all had the quirky sense of humor required to watch that one day over and over again. Our other friends did not share our delight. So each year the Butlers would pack up their teeny kids, we would pop a Sillyville video in the kid’s room, and then we adults would watch Groundhog Day as near to February 2 as possible.
We’ve missed some years due to schedules. We’ve reached milestones where our kids were allowed to join us for the “Grownups” movie. We’ve even reached milestones where our kids laugh at us for Groundhog Day, schedule an alternate date, and head out the door.
Now you should know me by now. This post isn’t really about Groundhog Day at all. It’s about how incredibly blessed and thankful I am, year by year, to know that I have friends doing life with me. When days of mourning come, they are there. When days of celebration come, they know what flavor of ice cream to bring. They KNOW us.
I know that the Butlers — and a select handful of other friends — would be the first to ring our doorbell or barge in the house if David or I needed confrontation in any area of our lives. Should we step out from under the umbrella of God’s protection, we’d face their wrath. I also know that they would lay down their lives to bring us back into fellowship with God and with the family of God. I know this. I trust this.
Do you have friends like that? Are you willing to live your life in such radical, open transparency that words aren’t even necessary?
I hope the answer is yes. Because friends like Danny and Kim can make a holiday like Groundhog Day into a holy-day of knowing that life in the kingdom is meant to be lived with each other. In community. Together.
I only have a few minutes today, but wanted to write about something that’s been on my mind.
It’s that whole happiness theme.
Let’s be honest: in Christian circles, happiness is the little step-sister to the more applauded Joy, Peace, Contentment. Even Jesus cautioned us that in this world we WILL have trouble. And trouble we have! Which makes joy (defined as that well-being that doesn’t leave in spite of circumstances), peace and contentment so much more necessary than silly little happiness.
Happiness can feel like a name-it-and-claim-it cousin who just wants to put on a smile regardless. “Why yes, my dog died yesterday. But I’m still happy!”
But not so fast.
The fact is, God expects that the natural state of his children will be happiness on some level. Remember that whole “A cheerful heart does good, like medicine?” When he asks us to think about the lovely things, the beautiful things, is that not an invitation to rest our spirits in him and…be happy?
Zig Ziglar said once that “a positive attitude will never get you anything. But it will get you a whole lot more than a negative one.”
I am the church. So are you. We’re the incarnational representatives of Christ, right here, right now. I think that makes choosing to be happy the wise thing to do. Do we deny our other emotions? Of course not! But in the end, we return to our sense of completeness in him. It is a completeness that allows us to be happy in spite of and sometimes even because of our circumstances.
That’s the message I got today while reading “The Happiness Advantage” by Shaun Achor. In any adverse event, there are people who will react poorly — becoming helpless and hopeless quickly — and there are people who will react well — finding creative and unique ways to manage their situation. This is documented and named. It is called Post-Traumatic Growth Syndrome.
You’ve probably heard about this syndrome. It’s the person who survives the 9/11 crashes and turns to God, changing the path of their life. It’s the financial executive who uses the economic pull-back to reconnect with his family, develop stronger relationships with his clients, and come out the other side stronger. It’s your neighbor fighting cancer who tells you “I’ve never appreciated how beautiful my life is until now.”
Tal Ben-Shahar, one of the leading researchers in the happiness field, says it well: “things do not necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best out of things that happen.” God phrased it somewhat differently in Romans, when he reminds us that “All things work together for good.”
It turns out that failure, likewise, is a great predictor of success. Watch how a person responds to failure and you will know their character and you will know if they have the psychological flexibility to triumph regardless of the circumstances. A crisis — no matter how large or small — can be a catalyst for your creativity.
Reading this today, here are some of the ways I’ve resolved to react to “failures” in my life:
Tell myself the truth. After a failure it’s easy to overemphasize the importance of the event in our minds. Consciously choose to look at the event differently and literally tell yourself a different story about it. God does this for us by redeeming our past experiences so we can help others navigate the same waters. Failure becomes an opportunity.
Remember what my grandmother said: “This too shall pass.” I got tired of hearing it in the wake of a boyfriend break-up or a party invite that never came, but it was true then and it is true now. These setbacks are temporary, and we were made for eternity. We are bigger than these circumstances right now.
Never waste a crisis. This applies to me as well as others. In a moment of crisis we are open to God’s voice as well as the wise counsel of others. If it’s your own event, sit down with a journal and listen to what God’s trying to say to you.Write it down.Highlight it. Underline it. Internalize the message God’s sending you. If it is another’s crisis, offer to pray with them and do it…right there, right then. Be sparing in your advice and lavish in your love. And the best advice is the word of God. Turn them back to the source of wisdom.
Engineer a success. It’s easy to overgeneralize when we have experienced a failure in one area, and assume that we will fail in all areas. To counteract this, arrange a success. Even something as simple as baking a great dessert and inviting the neighbors over — knowing they will be happy to remind you of your baking prowess! — can change your mental state.
What about you? Any other ideas for me on how to grow in the middle of a crisis point?
